Friendship means a voluntary relationship between 2 individuals which is not based on social or economic interest, kinship or sexual attraction. Reciprocal acceptance, the desire for dating, the intimacy that binds the 2 people, trust, psychological or even material support, emotional interdependence and duration are all elements that make up this friendship.

From 20 to 65, we would have about fifteen friends that you can really count on. From the age of 70, this drops to 10, and finally drops to 5 only after 80 years.

Nevertheless, each individual would only have between 3 and 4 close friends, a number that has not changed for 50 years.

However, there is a kind of affective regulation that combines various factors so that some friends are continually replaced by new ones. Nevertheless, some remain for life or for a long period: out of 18 people considered as friends, 3 would be classified as ” Old friends ». 

The neighborhood, which designates all modes of proximity in space, has a strong influence on choices and friendships. In other words, a neighbor in your room, table, dorm, classroom or neighborhood has a much better chance of becoming your friend than someone else. Geographical, structural or functional proximity is a vector which brings together individuals of similar status, style and age and which creates friendships.

A survey carried out in a boarding school showed that 25% of friendships formed between interns initially corresponded to pure vicinity (dormitory neighbors, for example) and continued six months later. Another survey carried out in a military center validated this vicinitarian effect.

On the other hand, age homophilia (which refers to the propensity to have friends of the same age or the same age group) is very widespread, around 85% for all social categories. However, it declines, just like the number of friends, over time … It is important to note here the importance of the structural factors bringing together people of the same generation or of the same age group (for example, camaraderie schools that generate potential friendships between parents’ households). 

Love and friendship are very similar concepts, but they are notoriously different in two ways. The sex drive animating both desire and loving embrace is only found in love, although there is a certain physical convenience among friends: the sight and voice of our friends are important to us. The state of fascination which pervades the whole field of existence is typical of love: it tends to exclude or reduce other forms of relationships. Friendship tolerates them although it sometimes arouses jealousy in those who fear to count less than another friend.

Let us also add that love can be one-sided (and therefore unhappy) while friendship only appears in reciprocity.

Love and friendship, on the other hand, can both spring up suddenly, like love at first sight.

To the question, ” What is a friend to you? What do you think are the signs of true friendship? “, 4 signs are often mentioned.

Communication. Friendship allows exchange, confidences, self-understanding, sharing of joys and sorrows. Tearing individuals away from loneliness, it is associated with the pleasure of reuniting and can endure temporary absence.

Mutual aid. At any time, friends must be able to resort to each other and even anticipate the call. Isn’t it in misfortune that we count our true friends? Often, individuals evoke difficult passages overcome thanks to a friend, which attests to a flawless commitment, involving deeds and evidence.

« A friend is the one who will be there when you really need something. You can count on him in the event of a hard blow » Bidart, 1997.

« It’s in times of unhappiness that you really see your true friends and colleagues. Because sometimes we are surrounded a lot and everything, and when certain things happen, the entourage decreases, and it is there that … those who remain are the true friends ». Bidart, 1997.

Loyalty. It is a sign that appears as a challenge to time. Friendship is then seen as an ideal, a sacred myth summed up by the following adage: ” Whoever ceases to be friends has never been. »

Trust. It cuts across the idea of ​​communication (being frank and sincere, keeping secrets), mutual aid (counting on the other no matter what) and fidelity (being attached to the other).

We can add that friendship goes far beyond the contextual framework from which it arises (friends from schooling will continue to see each other well after graduation).

The testimonies show that there is a graduation of social ties. Initially, the other is considered as a simple acquaintance, then a colleague, a comrade or a friend, and finally a friend. Within the circle of friends there are actually several evolving sub-categories. Some are promoted “friends”, others fallen. Sometimes certain founding events play a role in promoting to friend rank. It can be a dramatic event, marital difficulties, personal problems in which the other played an important role. ” The friend is the exceptional person in the exceptional moment »Sums up Bidard. 

A few decades ago, friendship between a man and a woman was considered impossible or illusory. We considered her to be a hidden form of sexual or romantic attraction. Today it is considered by 80% of Westerners to be “possible” and even “commonplace”, but the facts contradict opinions.

Several studies have shown that men and women stand out on several links constituting friendship: centers of interest, sensitivity, mode of expression of feelings, codes of communication, particular way of being leading to a certain type of reaction or Behavior… Gender identity could be at the root of these profound differences. However, it is obvious that two people are more likely to form a friendship if they have things in common.

In addition, the management of sexual attraction is the sensitive point of intersex friendship. Indeed, 20 to 30% of men, and 10 to 20% of women would recognize the existence of an attraction of a sexual nature within the framework of a friendly relationship between men and women.

Since the rise of social networks, online friendship has emerged, different from offline friendship according to many authors. According to Casilli, a relationship experienced in a mediatized space, such as the socio-digital network, would even require a different name, because it calls for different definitions. Unlike offline friendship, online friendship is a declarative act.

The individual must first say whether or not the person is a “friend” before interacting with him according to a staging of the social bond.

For Seneca, friendship is always selfless, which doesn’t always equate to online friendship. Casilli even named some form of online friendship akin to “social grooming” the ” grooming “. Grooming is a practice that can be observed in primates where two monkeys move away from the group to clean each other. The interest of this analogy proposed by Casilli is to reveal the absence of real friendship activities, but rather activities experienced together by exchanging links, videos, etc. This type of action would allow the maintenance of unfriendly relationships, to keep contact between individuals: although superficial, it would allow individuals to keep relationships that require little investment, compared to an offline relationship. . It would therefore be an “interested” relationship.