You can test each other for years for strength, or you can understand from the first minute that you are “of the same blood”. It really happens — some are able to discern a friend in a new acquaintance literally at first sight.
Most people believe in love at first sight. Studies have proven that sometimes 12 seconds is enough to fall in love. During this time, a special feeling arises that gives confidence that we have met the very person we were missing. And it is this feeling that occurs in both partners that binds them.
What about friendship? Is there friendship at first sight? Is it possible to talk about the sublime feeling that unites people, like the three comrades of Remarque? Is there that ideal friendship that is born from the first minutes of our acquaintance, when we first looked into each other’s eyes?
If we ask acquaintances what they expect from friendships, we will hear approximately the same answers. We trust friends, we have a similar sense of humor with them, and it is interesting for us to spend time together. Some really quickly manage to discern a potential friend in a person with whom they have just begun to communicate. They feel it even before the first word is spoken. Sometimes you just look at a person and realize that he can become a best friend.
The brain is able to quickly determine what is dangerous for us and what is attractive.
Whatever name we give to this phenomenon — fate or mutual attraction — everything happens almost instantly, only a short period of time is needed. Research reminds: a few seconds are enough for a person to form an opinion about another by 80%. During this time, the brain manages to create the first impression.
A special zone is responsible for these processes in the brain — the back of the cortex. It is activated when we think through the pros and cons before making a decision. Simply put, the brain is able to quickly determine what is dangerous for us and what is attractive. So, an approaching lion is an imminent threat, and a juicy orange is on the table for us to eat.
Approximately the same process occurs in our brain when we meet a new person. Sometimes a person’s habits, his manner of dressing and behaving distort the first impression. At the same time, we do not even suspect what judgments about a person are formed in us at the first meeting — all this happens unconsciously.
The opinion about the interlocutor is formed mainly on the basis of his physical characteristics — facial expressions, gestures, voice. Often instinct does not fail and the first impression is correct. But it also happens vice versa, despite the negative emotions when meeting, people then become friends for many years.
Yes, we are full of prejudices, that’s how the brain works. But we are able to revise our views depending on the behavior of another.
Psychologist Michael Sannafrank from the University of Minnesota (USA) studied the behavior of students when meeting. Depending on the first impression, the students’ attitudes developed in different ways. But the most interesting thing: some needed time to understand whether it was worth continuing to communicate with a person, others made a decision right away. We are all different.