Intellectual intelligence, characterized by the intelligence quotient (IQ), is no longer seen as the main factor in an individual’s success. Emotional intelligence, popularized a few years ago by the American psychologist Daniel Goleman, would be more important. But what do we mean by “emotional intelligence”? Why does it have a greater influence than IQ on our life? How to develop it? Answers.

The concept of emotional intelligence was first put forward in 1990 by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer. But it was the American psychologist Daniel Goleman who popularized it in 1995 with his bestseller “Emotional Intelligence”. It is characterized by the ability to understand and control his emotions, but also those of others. For Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is expressed through five skills:

• Self-awareness : be aware of their feelings and use their instincts as much as possible in making decisions. For this, it is important to know yourself and to have confidence in yourself.
• self control : know how to manage your emotions so that they do not interfere in a negative way in our life by overwhelming us.
• motivation : never lose sight of your desires and ambitions to always have goals, even in the event of disappointments, unforeseen events, setbacks or frustrations.
• empathy : know how to receive and understand the feelings of others, to be able to put oneself in the other’s shoes.
• human skills and the ability to relate to others. Interact with others without vehemence and use one’s skills to convey ideas smoothly, resolve conflict situations and cooperate.

When we master (more or less well) these five elements, we demonstrate human and social intelligence.  

“No one can say today to what extent emotional intelligence explains the variable course of life between individuals. But the available data suggest that its influence may be as important or even greater than that of IQ”, Explains Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence, Integral. According to him, the IQ would only be responsible for the success of an individual, up to 20%. Should the rest be attributed to emotional intelligence? Difficult to say because, unlike IQ, emotional intelligence is a new concept on which we therefore have little perspective. However, it has been proven that people who know how to control their feelings and those of others, and use them wisely, have an advantage in life, whether they have a high IQ or not. This emotional intelligence plays an important role in all spheres of life: work, the couple, the family … If it is not developed, it can even harm our intellectual intelligence. “People who cannot control their emotional life experience internal conflicts that sabotage their ability to concentrate and think clearly”, says Daniel Goleman. Another important point is that emotional intelligence evolves throughout life. This is not the case with the IQ, which stabilizes around the age of 20. Indeed, if some emotional skills are innate, others are learned through experience. You can improve your emotional intelligence, if you want to. This involves the desire to know yourself better and to know the people around us better. 

Demonstrating emotional intelligence takes training. Changing your behavior cannot happen overnight. We all have emotional skills, but they can be parasitized by bad habits. These must be abandoned to be replaced by new reflexes that give pride of place to emotional intelligence. For example, irritability, which results in bitching and getting angry, is a barrier to listening to others, an emotional skill that is very important in life. But then, how long does it take for a person to come to grips with an emotional skill? “It depends on several factors. The more complex the skills, the longer it takes to acquire this mastery ”, recognizes Daniel Goleman. This is why it is essential to always work on your emotional skills, regardless of the environment in which you find yourself: at work, with your family, with your partner, with friends … When, personally, you see the benefits of emotional intelligence in one’s own professional environment, one can only want to apply it in all spheres of one’s life. Any relationship is an opportunity to practice your emotional skills and improve them at the same time. Surrounding yourself with people with strong emotional intelligence is also a good way to move in this direction. We learn from others. If we are dealing with a person who is not intelligent from an emotional point of view, rather than playing in his game, it is better to make him understand what it would gain from being more empathetic and in control. of his emotions. Emotional intelligence brings many benefits.

Emotional intelligence allows:

• improve business productivity. It promotes creativity, listening and cooperation. Qualities that make employees more efficient and therefore more productive.
• to adapt to all situations. Our emotional skills are of great help in difficult situations. They help us to make good decisions and not to react under the influence of emotion. 
• to convey his ideas smoothly. Knowing how to listen, that is, taking into account the points of view and emotions of others, is a serious asset. This allows you to be heard and understood when you want to get your ideas across. As long as you do it without vehemence. Emotional intelligence is a real strength when you are a manager.