Quite often, you need to learn how to manage the level of emotion. Indeed, sometimes emotions are “too much”, and sometimes “catastrophically few”. Exam anxiety, for example, is a good example of «too much.» And the lack of confidence in front of him is “too little”.
Demonstration.
Well, who wants to learn how to manage some of their emotions. Andrew, great. What is this emotion?
— Self-confidence.
Fine. Feel it now.
— Yes.
Okay, you can imagine the highest possible level of self-confidence. Well, when there is nothing left but confidence. Absolute confidence.
I can imagine…
For now, that’s enough. Let this maximum level be one hundred percent. The level of self-confidence that you can generate in yourself right now is how much? In percentages?
— A little less than half.
And if in percentage: thirty, thirty-three, forty-nine and a half?
Well, I can’t be sure.
Approximately
— About forty.
Fine. Focus again on that emotion. Do now fifty percent.
— Yes.
Sixty.
— Yes.
Seventy.
— Yes.
— Eighty.
— Hmm yeah.
— Ninety.
— (Mushing) Mmmm. Yes.
Good. Let’s not take such big steps. Eighty-three percent isn’t far from eighty, is it?
— Yes, it’s close. I managed.
Well then, eighty-five percent will just work out for you?
— Mmm. Yes.
And eighty-seven is even easier.
— Yes.
Good. We go to the record — ninety percent.
— Yes!
What about ninety-three?
— Ninety two!
Okay, let’s stop there. Ninety-two percent! Amazing.
And now a little dictation. I will name the level as a percentage, and you set the desired state for yourself. Thirty, … five, … ninety, … sixty-three, … eighty-six, ninety-nine.
“Oh, I’ve got ninety-nine now too!”
Fine. Since it turned out ninety-nine, then it will turn out a hundred. You have a little left!
— YES!
Now go up and down the scale several times, from zero to almost a hundred, carefully marking these levels of emotion. Take as much time as you need.
— I did it.
Good. Thank you. A few questions. Andrey, what did this process give you?
“I learned how to manage confidence. It’s like I have a pen inside. I can twist it — and I get the right level.
Amazing! Andrey, please imagine how you can use this in your life?
— Well, for example, when communicating with the boss. Or with your wife. When talking to clients.
Did you like what happened?
— Yes, great.
Step by step
1. Emotion. Identify the emotion you want to learn to manage.
2. Scale. Set a scale within yourself. To do this, simply define the maximum possible level of emotion as 100%. And determine what level of this emotion on this scale you have right now. It could be as little as 1%.
3. Maximum level. Your task is to gradually increase the intensity of the state to reach a XNUMX% level.
4. Traveling on a scale. Gently go down the scale from zero to one hundred percent, in increments of three to five percent.
5. Generalization. Rate the process. What did he give you? How can you use the acquired skill in life?
Comments
Awareness gives control. But consciousness works well when there is an opportunity to measure something, to compare something. And evaluate. Name a number, percentage. Here we do it. We create an internal scale, where the minimum is the level of emotion at zero, and the maximum is a certain sufficiently high level of emotion spontaneously chosen by a person.
— Can there be an emotion level of more than one hundred percent?
Maybe. We have now taken only the idea of a person about the maximum. You have no idea what extremes people go to in critical situations. But now we just need some fairly high level. To start from something and measure. As in the economy: the level of 1997 is 100%. 1998 — 95%. 2001 — 123%. Etc. You just need to fix something.
— And if a person takes too little level of emotion as one hundred percent?
Then he will simply have a scale on which he can regularly go beyond the number one hundred. Confidence — two hundred percent. Some may like it!
Absolute numbers are not important here. The main thing is the control and management of the state, and not the exact figure. It’s very subjective — twenty-seven percent certainty, two hundred percent certainty. It is compared only within a person.
Is it always possible to reach one hundred percent?
Consider yes. We initially take one hundred percent as much as possible possiblelevel. That is, it is initially assumed that it is achievable for a given person, although it may take some effort for this. Just think about it this way and you will succeed!
Why was this dictation necessary?
I wanted to deceive Andrey a little. The main obstacle on the way to the top is doubt. I distracted him a little, and he forgot to doubt. Sometimes this trick works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Recommendations
When performing this exercise, it is enough to gain access to the control in any form. That is, it is not required to realize what exactly a person is twisting inside himself. A metaphor suffices to explain. The only condition is that the practitioner must actually demonstrate a change in state. A more accurate analysis will be in subsequent exercises and techniques.
The most common problems when performing this exercise are difficulties in determining the extreme points, an abrupt change in state.
If it is difficult for the student to imagine the extreme points, then he can be invited to experience the highest possible level of experience. When presented, a person can only get very little access to the experience, or even imagine what it looks like in other people. When experiencing, he is immersed in the state of the maximum. At the same time, you can help him with your own condition. Another option is the pendulum principle. Make a buildup — first reduce, and then increase the state. You can do this several times until you reach the maximum level.
If the practitioner fails to reach the maximum, he can be reassured that this is not required here. Since the maximum is taken maximum possiblestate, and this is an extreme. Let him try to reach his personal maximum at this stage.
In the event that this does not help, you can suggest that he return to this exercise at the stage of decomposing emotions into submodalities.