Being a mother in Bulgaria: Tsvetelina’s testimony

With our Tsvetelina, 46, mother of Helena and Max. She is married to a Frenchman and lives in France.

“I raised my children as I felt, in my own way”

“If you miss the first twenty days, it’s fucked up,” my mother told me before Helena was born. Even if I raised my children in my own way, this little sentence made me laugh, but it also remained in my head… I had also set myself the goal that my children make their nights at one month . And I succeeded. I gave birth in France, my husband and my in-laws are from here. For an expatriate woman, the little voices giving different advice on education collided a little in my head… But for my second child, my son Max, I did as I felt, without putting myself under pressure to do well.

For the Bulgarian mother, respect for the elders is important

The traditions of my village sometimes surprise me. My girlfriends had their first baby at 18, and respected the famous “in-laws rule”: when you get married, you move in with your in-laws (each on their own floor). At birth, the young mother rests 40 days while her mother-in-law takes care of the baby. Besides, she’s the only one to bathe on those days because she’s the eldest, the one who knows! I told one of my aunts that I would never have followed this custom. She replied that we were no exception to respect for the elders. Some traditions are very deep. Sometimes I do things because my mom told me about it! For example, she explained to me that ironing children’s clothes is essential because the heat disinfects the fabric. There, the women take care of motherhood together, I was all alone.

Bulgarian yogurt, an institution!

Bulgarian yogurt, I very much regret it. We cultivate our “Lactobacillus bulgaricus”, the lactic ferment which gives this so special and inimitable taste. As a child, my mother breastfed me, then weaned me by giving me bottles of Bulgarian yogurt diluted in water. Unfortunately, the food industry, yoghurts with preservatives and powdered milk are gradually disappearing our Bulgarian heritage. Me, I bought a machine to make yogurt because despite everything, it must be present in the genes of my children. They are big yoghurt eaters! On the other hand, I followed the French food introduction, and during a meal in Bulgaria, my husband gave our then 11 month old daughter a lamb chop to suck on… I was panicked and I was watching her, but he said, “Don’t think she might choke or swallow askew, just look at the happiness in her eyes!” “

In Bulgaria, society is changing, especially since the end of communism

Women at birth really need to rest and protect themselves as much as possible from the outside. In the maternity ward, you can hardly approach the young mother. Recently, dads have been allowed to stay. In the villages, I feel a real gap with France. I even sent a friend who had just given birth (on the 15th floor of the maternity ward) a basket hung on a rope with food! I said to myself that it was a bit jail… Or again, when I learned that I was pregnant with Helena, I was in Bulgaria and I saw a gynecologist who made me understand that I had to stop sex because it was not good for my baby. But society is changing, especially since the end of communism. Women work and no longer stay at home for three years to raise children. Even our famous respect disappears a little… We too have our children kings!

Interview by Ania Pamula and Dorothée Saada