One mother brought her eleven-year-old daughter to me for a consultation. As soon as I heard the words “bedwetting”, I immediately escorted my mother out of the office and listened to the girl. She was a tall, blond, and very pretty girl.
She said that somewhere at the age of one month, she developed an infectious disease of the bladder. The disease was taken up by a urologist. The illness lasted not days, not weeks, not months, but years. And all this time she regularly did cystoscopy. Using a special probe with a bulb at the end, inserted through the bladder, both renal pelvises and both kidneys were examined. The focus of infection was found in one of the kidneys, an operation was performed, and she recovered. But this endless cystoscopy… The sphincter of the bladder was so stretched that when she relaxed in her sleep, she urinated. While awake, she had to muster all her strength to hold back, but whenever she laughed or relaxed, her panties became wet.
She was already eleven, several years after her recovery, her parents lost patience. In their opinion, she should have learned to control herself, and not wet the bed every night. The girl had three younger sisters who laughed at her and gave her nasty nicknames. Neighbors and all the children at the school where she studied knew about her illness. The children tried to make her laugh, and then mocked her, knowing that she had wet herself. Her life was not easy. I asked if they had taken her to some other doctor, and she replied that she had lost count of them, and she probably swallowed a whole barrel of pills and potions. Nothing helped. And finally, my mother brought her to me.
I told her: “I’m a doctor like everyone else, and I can’t help you either. But there is one thing that you know, but you don’t know. Once you know what you already know but don’t know what you know, your bed will be dry.» Here’s what I said to the girl: “Look at the paperweight on my desk, don’t move, don’t talk. Just keep your eyes open and look at the paperweight.” I reminded her of her first classes at school, when she learned to memorize the letters of the alphabet, how difficult it was for her — they are all different types and forms: printed and handwritten, uppercase and lowercase. But then a visual memory formed in her mind and remained there forever, even if she does not suspect it.
Then I continued: “Look at the paperweight, don’t move, don’t talk, your heart beats in an altered rhythm, your breathing has changed, your blood pressure has changed, your motor and muscle tone has changed, your reflexes have also changed. It’s not that important, but I’m just saying this for your information. Now I’m going to ask you a very simple question and I want a very simple answer. Let’s say you’re sitting on the toilet and urinating, and at that time someone peeks in the door. What will happen to you?
“I will freeze,” the girl replied.
«Correct. You will freeze and stop urinating. As soon as the unfamiliar head is out of the door, you can continue your work. You just have to practice: start peeing and stop, start and stop on your own. Sometimes you forget to practice, but that’s okay. Your body will not let you down and will always give you more than one opportunity to practice. Rely on your body.
I think in two weeks you will wake up in a dry bed for the first time. Everything is fine. Don’t forget to train: start and stop, start and stop. Waking up in a dry bed two mornings in a row is much more difficult, and three times even more difficult, and four times very difficult. But then it will be easier: the fifth, sixth and seventh time. It’s been a dry week already. And after her, the second one will turn out. If it’s dry for three months in a row, you’ll just surprise me. But I will be no less surprised if in six months your bed is not always dry.
Six months later, she could spend the night visiting her friends. She only needed to know that, with the right stimulation, she could stop urinating at any time.
As for family therapy, I thought that it would be difficult for mom and dad to get used to their daughter’s dry bed anyway. (Laugh.)
Yes, and the sisters had great grief: now get used to the fact that the older sister’s bed is dry. And schoolchildren will not be lucky — there will be no one to tease, such a valuable object will disappear. Only one girl needed treatment.