Au pair: how to choose the right one?

Our advice for choosing the right au pair

Choose an au pair in your image

Getting to grips with it isn’t going to be easy, so it’s best to have things in common right from the start. The exchange that takes place is much more subtle.

What is an au pair? What is his role ?

The au pair in France is generally an elderly girl of 18 30 years to who can come and live with you to take care of your child. Unlike a traditional childcare arrangement, it will share your privacy for a period of several months, which will therefore require specific adaptation.

How to find and welcome an au pair?

If you are looking for an au pair, nothing beats the internet to find her! For example, the Aupair.com site puts you in touch with a large number of candidates.

What is the salary of an au pair in France?

Unlike nannies or assmat, there is no salary grid for au pairs in France! These are in fact mainly paid by benefits in kind (housing and cover in particular). It is up to you to determine the additional remuneration. Don’t hesitate to discuss it with her.

Discuss each point with the au pair

Not easy if you don’t know Ukrainian! However, it is essential to have a fairly long discussion with the young girl you are going to welcome. Establish an accurate profile of your family and list everything you expect from them. The more clearly the rules are defined, the less room for surprises. Above all, never hide the reality.

Check the experience of the au pair

They have all done thousands of hours of babysitting. Certainly ! But does caring for children half an hour in the evening before you put them to bed really feel like your home at bath time? Remember that taking care of one, and a fortiori several, children is sometimes difficult. It is probably better to choose a young girl who has siblings and therefore knows what a lively house is.

Remember: a young girl who lives with you is much more than just a form of child care. You are going to share your privacy so you better get along. Let your instinct speak, if you immediately feel in phase, it is undoubtedly that you made the right choice.

Au pair: set a precise schedule

Write, and if possible post, a complete agenda, even if it means reducing it later. List the children’s activities and the times when you will need her so that she can easily remember them. In the same way, list the household chores what you expect from her: empty the dishwasher, clean the children’s room, put away their laundry …

Au pair: set the rules of life immediately

Small, silly things that are important. Can we drink a soda in the afternoon? Snack between meals ? Play PS before doing homework? Getting in the car without buckling up? Your rules must become hers during her stay with you so as much as she knows them and commits to respecting them. Spend time explaining everything to her, because she doesn’t necessarily have the same vision as you.

Au pair: a necessary acclimatization time

Know that an au pair needs a good month to acclimatize. Help her as much as possible during this time: taking the metro can seem very complicated to her, answering the phone insurmountable and above all she will feel alone and so far from home.

And don’t forget: children need time to come to terms with it too. If you have the opportunity, do not hesitate to leave each child in duet with the young girl so that they create their own bond.

Au pair: know how to accept your excesses

The au pair remains a very young girl with her loud music, the breakfast crumbs still lying around in the evening and her sweaters scattered throughout the house. These are just minor annoyances. You can call her to order from time to time, as you would your children, but don’t wait any longer. She is not a professional. Really think of her as a big sister or cousin who comes from abroad.

Au pair: don’t let go of the pressure

She goes out until late and hangs around like a lost soul the next day? Is she pressuring you not to come home too late from dinner because she’s having an unforgettable party? Nothing to panic! She is acclimating, that’s all. Unless it can be felt in his work and especially in his vigilance. Be intractable on child safety but also on his “work” with them. Just because she’s exhausted doesn’t mean she has to stick them in front of the TV. The rules are clear, she must always be fresh and available when taking care of them.

And don’t forget: your responsibility is engaged. Of course, it is not your daughter, but you have a duty of prevention and protection. Evening outings, late returns, uncertain group of friends… You will discover, before the hour, the role of a parent of a teenager.

Au pair: know how to re-motivate her

Since the time she has been there, the young girl has the impression of having covered the question. It is sometimes – or even regularly – to put things back on the ground, to re-motivate her, to plan activities with the children if she no longer has the imagination to do so. Beware of the routine which demoralizes her very quickly. Take advantage of a new season, for example, to offer a new schedule, the park in spring, the swimming pool in summer.

Prepare your child for the departure of the au pair

For the children, things must be clear from the start: the au pair will live at home for a few months to take care of them, but there will come a time when she will have to leave. If they are warned, they live it serenely. The breakup often comes around vacation time when they are very excited about the prospect. This is arguably the best time to change.

And don’t forget: the young girl who leaves you goes on new and equally exciting adventures. Her stay with you represents a parenthesis in her life… that she may soon have forgotten. Do not be offended, you will surely experience other adventures with your new au pair.

Au pair boy: and why not?

The expression “au pair” can for a certain number of people be seen as a little dated because it considers only the female sex. Today, recruitment websites allow young men to try their luck too! So don’t hesitate to give it a try!