A couple of years ago, TV presenter Andrey Maksimov published his first books on psychophilosophy, which he had been developing for about ten years. This is a system of views and practices that is designed to help a person in a difficult psychological situation. We spoke with the author about what this approach is based on and why it is so important to live according to your desires.
Psychologies: What is psychophilosophy anyway? What is it based on?
Andrey Maksimov: Psychophilosophy is a system of views, principles and practices, which is designed to help a person build harmonious relationships with the world and with himself. Unlike most psychological systems, it is addressed not to specialists, but to all people. That is, when a friend, a child, a colleague comes to any of us with his own psychological problems, psychophilosophy can help.
It is called so because each of us has not only a psyche, but also a philosophy — that is, how we perceive different meanings. Everyone has their own philosophy: for one person the main thing is family, for another career, for the third — love, for the fourth — money. To help a person in a difficult state — I borrowed this term from the outstanding Soviet psychologist Leonid Grimak — you need to understand his psyche and philosophy.
What prompted you to develop this concept?
A. M.: I started creating it when I realized that 100% of people are psychological consultants for each other. Relatives and friends come to each of us and ask for advice when they have problems in relationships with partners, children, parents or friends, with themselves, finally. As a rule, in these conversations we rely on our own experience, which is not true.
Reality is what influences us, and we can create this reality, choose what affects us and what does not
There can be no universal experience, because the Lord (or Nature — whoever is closer) is a piece master, each person is individual. In addition, our experience is often negative. For example, divorced women are very fond of giving advice on how to save a family. So I thought that we need some kind of system that — sorry for the tautology — will help people to help people.
And in order to find a solution to the problem, you need …
A. M.: … to listen to your desires, which — and this is very important — should not be confused with whims. When a person comes to me with this or that problem, it always means that he either does not know his desires, or does not want — cannot, namely, does not want — to live by them. A psychophilosopher is an interlocutor who helps a person to realize his desires and understand why he created such a reality in which he is unhappy. Reality is what influences us, and we can create this reality, choose what affects us and what does not.
Can you give a specific example from practice?
A. M.: A young woman came to me for a consultation, who worked in her father’s company and lived very well. She was not interested in business, she wanted to be an artist. During our conversation, it became clear that she is fully aware that if she does not fulfill her dream, her life will be lived in vain. She just needed support.
The first step towards a new, less prosperous life was the sale of an expensive car and the purchase of a more budget model. Then together we composed a speech addressed to my father.
A huge number of problems between parents and children arise because parents do not see a personality in their child.
She was very worried, afraid of a sharply negative reaction, but it turned out that her father himself saw that she was suffering, doing an unloved thing, and supported her in her desire to become an artist. Subsequently, she became a fairly sought-after designer. Yes, financially, she lost a little, but now she lives the way she wants, the way she is “right” for her.
In this example, we are talking about an adult child and his parent. What about conflicts with young children? Here psychophilosophy can help?
A. M.: In psychophilosophy there is a section “psycho-philosophical pedagogy”, on which I have published many books. The main principle: the child is a person. A huge number of problems and misunderstandings between parents and children arise because parents do not see a personality in their child, do not treat him as a person.
We often talk about the need to love a child. What does it mean? To love means to be able to put yourself in his place. And when you scold for deuces, and when you put in a corner …
A question that we often ask psychologists and psychotherapists: is it necessary to love people in order to practice?
A. M.: In my opinion, the most important thing is to show a sincere interest in people, otherwise you should not try to help them. You can’t love everyone, but you can sympathize with everyone. There is not a single person, from the homeless to the English queen, who would have nothing to cry about at night, which means that all people need sympathy …
Psychophilosophy — a competitor to psychotherapy?
A. M.: In no case. First of all, because psychotherapy should be done by professionals, and psychophilosophy — I repeat — is addressed to all people.
Viktor Frankl divided all neuroses into two types: clinical and existential. A psychophilosopher can help a person with an existential neurosis, that is, with those cases when it comes to finding the meaning of life. A person with a clinical neurosis needs to consult a specialist — a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Is it always possible to create a more harmonious reality independent of external circumstances?
A. M.: Of course, in the absence of force majeure circumstances, such as famine, war, repression, this is easier to do. But even in a critical situation, it is possible to create another, more positive reality. A famous example is Viktor Frankl, who, in fact, turned his imprisonment in a concentration camp into a psychological laboratory.