7 Signs You’re Getting Divorced

Problems caused by stressful circumstances — job change, moving, cramped living conditions, addition to the family — are quite easy to solve. But if they are ignored, they will result in more serious problems from the list below. These signs are not a sentence for divorce. As long as both of you are focused on maintaining the relationship, there is hope.

1. There is no harmony in sexual life

Rare sex is not a reason for divorce proceedings. Dangerous mismatch of needs. If you need more or less sex than your partner, problems arise. In all other cases, it does not matter what others do or do not do. The main thing is that you and your partner are happy. If there are no psychosexual or medical contraindications in the couple, the lack of sex usually signals deeper problems in the relationship.

2. You rarely get together

Dates in the evenings are an optional element of the program. Just because you don’t date doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. However, spending time together is important. You can go for walks, watch movies or cook together. By this you tell your spouse: «You are important to me.» Otherwise, you risk moving away from each other. If you don’t spend time together, you don’t know what’s going on with your partner. You end up losing the emotional closeness that makes you a couple in love.

3. Don’t feel grateful for your partner

Appreciating each other and being grateful is equally important. If these qualities disappear or were not there initially, you will be in big trouble. It’s not the big gestures that matter, but the small daily tokens. Tell your husband, “I really appreciate you working so hard for the family,” or just make him a cup of tea.

Psychologists at the Gottman Institute who specialize in couples therapy have identified the «4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse» that are important to know about. Psychologists pay attention to these signals during therapy, they are typical for couples with serious problems. To overcome these difficulties, couples must acknowledge them and work to overcome them.

4. Criticize your partner

Frequent criticism from a partner is perceived as a personal insult. Over time, this results in resentment and resentment.

5. Show contempt for your partner

Dealing with this problem is difficult, but possible. You will have to identify it, acknowledge it, and prepare to work on it. If one of the partners constantly looks down on the other, does not take into account his opinion, scoffs, sarcastically and lets go of barbs, the second begins to feel unworthy. Contempt often follows loss of respect.

6. Don’t admit your mistakes

If partners cannot agree because one or both switches to defensive behavior, this is a problem. You will not listen to each other and eventually lose mutual interest. Communication is the key to working through any relationship issues. Defensive behavior leads to the search for the guilty. Everyone is forced to defend themselves with an attack: «You did this» — «Yes, but you did that.» You resent, and the dialogue turns into a battle.

You are so busy protecting yourself that you forget about solving the real problem. To get out of the vicious circle, you need to stop, look at the situation from the side, give each other some space and time to speak out and be heard.

7. Ignoring Problems

One of the partners moves away, refuses to talk with the second and does not allow the problem to be solved. We usually don’t want to hear what is being said to us because we’re afraid to admit the problem, to hear the truth, or we’re afraid we won’t be able to handle it. At the same time, the second partner is desperately trying to talk. He may even cause a fight to get the first one to react. As a result, people find themselves in a terrible environment. A person who is ignored becomes afraid of any dispute, just so as not to cause a new boycott. After that, the hope for a restoration of relations dies.

Source: The Guardian