Some questions are like keys: they open doors to things that we have not noticed or considered before, both in relation to ourselves and others. We have put together a few simple questions for you to ask regularly. The answers to them will help to understand the essence of many things.
«What?»
This question can be asked and understood in different ways, depending on the situation, says American educator, writer and lawyer James Edward Ryan. For example, as a calm clarification: “Excuse me, what exactly?” When one interlocutor asks the other to repeat what was just said or explain what was meant. It happens that we add emotional coloring to the question, and then the usual “what” is associated with “wait”. This is a signal for the interlocutor to slow down so that we understand him better.
Sometimes our “what” means “in the sense?”, and we can thereby express distrust or doubt. And if you “season” the question with the appropriate facial expression, then it can be translated as “Are you out of your mind?” or «Is this supposed to be a joke?»
A simple “what” can call into question anything and everything. So why not use it by playing the right intonation?
«I wonder why…»
If you look around from time to time, look at people on the street and at your loved ones and think: “I wonder why …”, “I wonder what if …”, you can turn into an inquisitive observer, which means you can learn a lot about the world and about yourself, feel a surge of inspiration and come to amazing discoveries and innovative results. This is the attitude of the scientists.
It is too easy to perceive what surrounds us as something static. But there is a lot of information around that is worth noticing and processing. The question “I wonder why…?” becomes the key to a better understanding of the environment, while “I wonder what if…?” creates a vibrant, exciting relationship with the world. Anyone who avoids such questions runs the risk of missing out on a host of new opportunities.
«Can we at least…»
This phrase is great for finding a way out of a confusing or seemingly hopeless situation. This question is also an important signal for overcoming differences and finding a solution or compromise. When we put the question in this way, we kind of ask: “Can we come to an agreement, please?”, “Can we at least start / try?”. Anyone who asks this question is moving along the path of rapprochement, and this is the key to a harmonious partnership, both in politics, and in business, and in marriage, and in friendship.
When you’re arguing heatedly and argumentatively, asking «can we at least…» allows you to pause the argument, take a step back and see where you agree. And then — confidently take two steps forward.
«How can I help?»
Evolutionary biologists and psychologists tend to think that being helpful calms our conscience and makes us feel empowered. Regardless of what motivates us to do so, most of us do help—colleagues and friends, family, and even complete strangers.
However, before doing anything, it is important to clarify how and in what way you can help. This will show respect, acknowledge that the other person knows better what is good for them, and give them the right to decide for themselves, even if what you really want to do is step in and “do good.”
«What really matters?»
We often lose sight of things of paramount importance, especially if we find ourselves in a stressful situation. When we get bogged down in our daily activities, we easily lose our self-confidence and the ability to distinguish the essential from the non-essential. So it’s important to ask yourself right away what really matters. Having found the answer to this question, we can abstract from the hustle and bustle, look at what is happening from the outside and set the right priorities.