“In general, everything is fine, but …” – reasoning like this, we focus on the problems within the couple, instead of noting that we are on the right track. We offer to change the angle of view and look at your union differently and make sure that the connection is growing stronger, and the closeness between you is increasing.
It is customary in society to scold those who see everything in a gloomy light, but most notice the negative faster and easier than the positive. Evolutionarily, this property of the psyche was justified – so we had more chances to protect ourselves from dangers, but in calm times it plays a cruel joke with us.
We notice shortcomings in ourselves, in others and in relationships with them, instead of enjoying life and communication. And what if we finally begin to notice the good that is happening to us, including in our personal lives? Most likely, in your pair “everything is so” if …
1. You laugh more than you argue. It is not easy to “get used to” each other: when two different people with different habits and experiences begin to live under the same roof, various reasons for disputes and even conflicts can arise. Yes, and life as such does not get tired of throwing problems. The question is, what is the balance of positive and negative emotions that you experience next to your partner.
2. You enjoy the simplest joint activities. Shopping, cooking, making plans for the weekend, or just choosing a movie or TV series for the evening – if all this makes you happy, it’s a sure sign that you’re having a good time together.
3. You respect each other. Loss of respect is a warning sign that something is wrong with the relationship. We need to respect each other’s points of view, even if they drastically differ in something.
4. Your partner shares happy and sad memories with you, and you remember them.. And this is not about some grandiose achievements or failures, but also about those “little things” that once incredibly pleased or upset your loved one.
5. Any dispute ends with a search for a solution, not a quarrel. Needless to say, blaming each other for everything is a road to nowhere. But the ability to find a way out in any situation that suits both is a sign of a healthy relationship.
6. Often you smile involuntarily just by looking at your partner. The ability to rejoice at the sight of a person with whom you are united by a common life and living together is extremely valuable in a relationship. Don’t take it for granted.
7. You are honest in everything. You can tell each other about everything in the world – about what is on your mind, about what worries you, about your mistakes and “socially unacceptable” feelings, without fear of condemnation.
8. When your partner annoys you, you are able to deal with it. Yes, exactly “when” and not “if”: there are times when even the closest person annoys us, and this is normal. The main thing is that you do not start to love him or her less because of this.
9. You feel both supported and free. The partner does not “strangle” you with his care, does not try to make decisions for you and solve your problems, but at the same time he is always ready to help you, and you are always ready to help him and support him in his endeavors.
10. When your partner is happy and you are happy. You may be surprised, but this is not always the case. If this is the case in your couple, appreciate it.
11. You know you can trust your partner. And so don’t worry when he’s late at work, meeting with friends of the opposite sex, and don’t check his or her phone.
12. The problem of one of you is your common problem. You are a team, and if one of the “players” is in trouble, you throw all your strength into correcting the situation. And this is your strength.
13. You know you won’t be judged for mistakes. And not only for them, but also for “inadequate” behavior (and after all, most of us at least sometimes behave strangely and make irrational decisions).
14. You feel good, comfortable and interesting with each other. Life often throws up one problem or another, but in general, you feel relaxed and “filled” with each other.