In the beginning, healthy relationships and addict relationships can develop in very similar ways. When you are together, time flies unnoticed, it seems that you are walking on the clouds, and a smile does not leave your face. But it is important to understand in time what course the “ship of love” is moving on, whether it will be able to set off on a happy voyage or die, crashing against the rocks in shallow water.
Those suffering from love addiction differ from healthy people in that they are not able to go beyond the first strong love, passion and attraction. “Addiction requires constant stimulation of the brain’s “pleasure center” (associated with feelings of love and being in love), so they constantly start new and new relationships, forgetting about everything except the new object of love,” explains family therapist Gianni Adamo.
Sex addiction occurs in much the same way – those suffering from it also need constant stimulation of the “pleasure center” of the brain, which they receive through sexual relationships and fantasies. Some people suffer from both types of addiction at the same time. They fall in love easily but find it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. In order not to crash the “ship of love” on the reefs, getting entangled in a relationship with a love addict, remember these 13 possible signs of a love addiction.
So, a person addicted to love:
1. Constantly starts new relationships that last relatively short time (from 3 to 24 months).
2. All the time looking for “the one” or “the one”.
3. Develops strategies to find, seduce and retain new partners.
4. Holds a partner through sex, seduction, manipulation.
5. Constantly longs to be the object of special attention, hunts for strong sensations.
6. He cannot be alone for a long time – it is unbearable for him.
7. Desperately tries to please a partner, afraid of being abandoned or abandoned.
8. Chooses partners who are emotionally unavailable, married, or abusive.
9. Gives up his friends and interests for a new love.
10. When he is not in a relationship, he tries to escape from feelings of loneliness through sex, masturbation or fantasies. Sometimes in this way he avoids relationships.
Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but too much love can also be a sign of mental trouble.
11. Constantly revisiting relationships that hurt or got out of control in the past.
12. Leads a risky sex life without thinking about the possible consequences (sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancy, risk of rape).
13. Unable to maintain close relationships for a long time. When the novelty wears off, he becomes bored or afraid of being trapped in a long-term relationship with the wrong person. As a result, he emotionally moves away from his partner or repels him with scandals.
Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but too much love can also be a sign of mental distress. “Those who are addicted to love or sex look for the source of happiness not in themselves, but in the outside world. The first important step in treating any addiction is to stop denying the problem and admit that life has become unmanageable,” says Gianni Adamo.
Psychotherapy and anonymous support groups can help with treatment. Addictions often develop as a result of childhood trauma associated with attachment or sexual abuse. If you’ve started dating a new partner and suspect that he or she is a love addict, it’s best to try to find someone else who is ready and capable of a long-term relationship and true love.
If you still want to try to save this relationship, try to talk frankly with your partner and see if he is ready to solve his problems. Successful and lasting relationships and marriages require conscious effort from both partners.