10 tips to best cope with anger

You try as best you can to impose your authority, but faced with your child’s anger, you very often give in. Yet frustration is an important element in education. Discover our advice to help him calm down and channel his emotions …

Angry child: anticipate his frustrations

You noticed it, your child gets angry when the wicked reality comes to oppose his desires of omnipotence. To avoid crises, it is better to tell him in advance that he will not have EVERYTHING he wants, that it is impossible! The sooner he takes in the frustration to come, the less likely he is to explode. Always explain to him what awaits him: “I’ll let you play for ten minutes, then we’ll go home”, “You take a nap and only after that we’ll go play in the park” … When you take him to the races, give him the list drawn up by you, specifying: “I only buy what is written. I have no money to buy you something, no need to ask me for a toy! »Toddlers are in the moment, they don’t like sudden changes, moving from one state to another, stopping playing to go to bed, leaving home to go to school … We must therefore adjust the transition, not impose it abruptly, introduce a deadline so that he can seize it.

Check that he is not lacking in sleep

Fatigue is a well-known trigger for anger. Physical exhaustion at the end of the day after leaving the nursery, nanny’s or school, difficult morning awakenings, too short or too long naps, accumulated sleep delays,The time differences that disrupt the usual rhythms of children are sensitive moments. If your child gets upset because he is tired, be understanding. And make sure he doesn’t have a hectic pace of activity and that he sleeps the number of hours his body needs to recover.

Anger in angry children: Physically accompany their anger

A toddler in crisis is invaded by an energy and an aggressiveness which he does not know what to do with and which can even frighten him if he does not have by his side an adult who is both tender and firm who lends it. ‘forces you to calm down. VSevery time your child gets angry, help him channel his emotional outbursts. Contain him physically, hold his hand, hug him, stroke her back and talk to her in loving, reassuring words until the crisis subsides. If he starts yelling in the street, take him by the hand to show him that you are there and say calmly: “Now we are going home, it is like that and not otherwise”. Make him come back to reality: “There, you scream really too loudly, you embarrass people, you are not alone. “

Welcome and contain your child’s emotions

Encourage your child to express his feelings by speaking when he is angry: “I can see that you are angry because you wanted this toy. You can express your dissatisfaction in words and without shouting. You don’t look happy, tell me how you feel. What’s going on ? “. Appgiving a name to what he feels allows the child to calm down because he is less helpless in the face of his emotions. The better he knows how to express himself, the less angry he will be. This is the reason why the seizures mostly give way after 4 or 5 years, when the children begin to master the language well. Above all, do not force him to be silent, otherwise he will be persuaded that expressing his emotions is not good and that he will be rejected if he shows his feelings! Do not let him scream when leaving far away, do not show him indifference. It is extremely hurtful for the child, who sees only contempt.

He is angry: Don’t give in to your child, hold on

Anger is an opportunity for your child to prove that he exists as an individual, but also to test you. Your parental attitude must therefore be reassuring, but firm. If you systematically give in to his anger, this behavior will reinforce itself because your child will think that there is no limit to his requests and that being angry is “paying” since he gets what he wants. ‘he wants. If you feel that you have trouble not giving in, isolate him for a short time in another room, a secure setting, explaining to him what you are doing: “See, I think you are going over the line / I am not. don’t like what you do there / you do too much / you tire me out. I’ll come back when you’re calm. ” If you resist gently, his anger will be less and less frequent. But they will not disappear completely, because this mode of expression is part of the normal development of the child, provided that they do not become habitual.

Anger of the Screaming Baby: create a diversion

As soon as a conflict – and the crisis that goes with it – shows the tip of its nose, try to divert his attention. For example at the supermarket: “Put down this packet of sweets and come and help me choose the cereals, a cheese that daddy will like or the ingredients with which we are going to bake a cake …” Offer an emergency solution without negotiating the ban initial. You can also talk about yourself: “Me too, I didn’t like being tied up in Grandpa’s car, I sometimes got really annoyed. Do you know what I was doing then? “

How to deal with temper tantrums: Encourage your child’s efforts

As a parent, we often tend to point the finger at negative behaviors and not enough positive attitudes. When your little one manages not to explode with rage, to gradually relieve the pressure, to give up a whim, to obey after having said no violently, congratulate him, tell him that you are proud of him, that he has become a grown-up, because the more you grow up, the less you have tantrums. Let him see the benefits of the situation: “We didn’t waste time like last time. You can watch your cartoon before taking your bath when you get home. “

How to calm a child: decipher the meaning of his outbursts of rage

Between 12 months and 4 years old, the child is subjected to a busy schedule! We ask a lot of him: learning to walk, to speak, to get clean, to go to school, to discover other rules, to listen to the teacher, to make friends, to go down the stairs alone, to shoot a ball, to draw. a handsome man, diving into the water with armbands, eating properly … In short, all of his daily progress requires superhuman concentration and effort. Hence stress and temper tantrums when the result does not meet his expectations. In addition to being an outlet, the explosion can also be a call signal, a way to get the attention of a mother who watches over the elder’s homework, for example, or who breastfeeds the baby! If your toddler is often angry, it may be because he wants to be listened to and you are not available enough for him.

Child still angry: Be aware of his mood

Adults don’t have a monopoly on bad humor! The little ones also get up with their left foot and grumble, grumble and get angry. All the more so when the general tension is at its top level. As soon as the family is in turmoil, there is a risk of crisis. Going on vacation, shopping in crowded department stores, parental disputes, important family reunions, weekends with friends, and many other occasions make the little ones overexcited and alive … Take it into account and be more tolerant of his little whims.

Talk about his cold anger

Whenever your child gets carried away, wait until he is calm before talking about it: “You were so angry earlier, why? Ask him, “What could you have done to avoid this? If you had a magic wand, what would you like to change? How would you solve the problem that made you so angry? What could you have said to me instead of screaming? ” If he has trouble speaking, you can play with his soft toys at “the one who gets angry all the time” so that he makes these characters speak and thus express what he cannot directly formulate.