When you read popular coaches and «teachers», you might get the impression that enlightenment is already waiting around the corner. Why then are we still far from ideal? Is there something wrong with us, or are easy ways of spiritual development a scam?
If you’re a frequent user of Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) or other social media, you’ve probably seen countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green tea. And everything is gluten free. Most of us associate such fasts with spirituality and positive energy. I can’t help but agree. Such publications really set a positive attitude.
But the problem is that in such posts we are not told the whole story, and as soon as we disconnect from the Internet, we again feel that something is wrong with us. We’re scared. We feel insecure. After all, it seems that all these «influencers» and gurus have already completely figured out their lives. I’ll tell you a little secret: none of us have completely figured out our lives.
It is impossible to fit all the complexity and variability of our lives into one post or yoga pose. And from my own experience I can say that the path to love and light lies through many difficulties and unpleasant experiences. Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) is often a kind of cutting of the best moments and vivid awareness.
It’s easy to get carried away by gurus because they seem to have all the answers and are always optimistic no matter what happens. When I was signed to several famous self-proclaimed spiritual teachers, I put them on a pedestal and ignored my own inner guru.
You are still growing spiritually even when you are negative and reject positive practices like yoga.
I also constantly compared myself to them, because I wasn’t in bliss 24 hours, 7 days a week, unlike them. Luckily, it ended quickly. And although I honor and respect the path of each person, now I understand that people who strive for authenticity are closer to me, and not gurus who talk only about the good, ignoring the dark side of life.
I am inspired by teachers who share their struggles and transform them in the name of love, not those who claim to be always happy, positive and have all the answers. The spiritual path is a very personal journey. It leads to your true self so that you can make choices based on your higher self.
This “I” is full of love, joy and wisdom. It knows what’s best for you. This “I” wants you to learn to love yourself, fulfill yourself, feel joy and overcome difficulties with nobility. This cannot be reflected in a post on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia). Every day of this path promises new discoveries and adventures.
There will be days when you will feel disgusting and nothing human will be alien to you. Don’t worry, you’re still growing spiritually even when you’re «negative» and disown positive practices like yoga.
You are still valuable, loved, worthy of all the good things in life. The beauty of the spiritual path is that? as you discover the infinite love within you and get in touch with your beauty and uniqueness, you also fall in love with your humanity. You begin to accept that it is normal to feel all emotions. Find ways to tune in to what suits you.
In my experience, work—going home to yourself—begins with a simple admission that something is missing, that you feel left out, turned off, or inadequate. From here, you need to go into the darkness, not negate it with positivity.
Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist John Welwood criticized the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid one’s own unresolved emotional problems and unhealed traumas back in the XNUMXs, and even coined the term «spiritual avoidance.» On the spiritual path, you will have to face your beliefs head-on and learn to let go and reformulate those that hurt you.
You will have to face parts of yourself and your life that you are ashamed of and would rather ignore, that you would like to get rid of. You will have to let go of old wounds and give up the thirst for revenge against the people and circumstances that offended you. You will face painful memories and comfort your inner child. You have to honestly answer yourself the question: how strong is your intention to change?
Here are just a few of the questions I had to answer today: “Do I really want to forgive and move on? Am I ready to treat past wounds as messages or lessons? Am I ready to make new mistakes, realizing that no one is perfect? Am I willing to question the beliefs that keep me stumped and disempowered? Am I ready to get out of relationships that are draining me? Am I ready to change my lifestyle for the sake of healing? Am I ready to trust life, let go of what needs to go and accept what needs to stay?
Many realizations came to me when I slowed down enough to be in touch with myself.
Answering these questions, I cried a lot. Often I didn’t want to get out of bed because I could only relive my mistakes over and over again. I cleansed my soul and at times relived some painful moments. I embarked on this path to reconnect with myself, with my divine essence and the joy that had eluded me before.
This reunion did not happen by magic. I had to do «homework». I started to slowly change my diet, although I still have difficulty with this. I had awkward conversations when it was important for me to say what I thought. I found new practices that helped me stay in touch with my body—including qui-gong.
I found a way to be creative and have a good time — for example, I started to draw. I also came to every coaching session with an open heart, a desire to learn something new about myself, and a desire to let go of the old patterns, habits, and thoughts that kept me trapped.
And although I will constantly evolve every day as long as I live, I feel that I am much closer to my personal truth now. And it’s easier for me to express it. This is the true path. Many realizations came to me when I slowed down enough to be in touch with myself.
For example, I realized that I had lived my whole life as an extrovert, when in fact my true essence is calmness and introversion. I replenish my energy in quiet places and nourish myself when I feel like I’ve lost touch with myself. I didn’t make this discovery right away. I had to go a long way and take off many layers. I got to my truth by releasing emotions and letting go of beliefs that only burdened me and were rooted in fears and doubts.
It took time. So no matter how much vegetable juice you drink, no matter how much yoga you do to get in shape, if you don’t work with your emotions, it will be difficult for you to sustain long-term change. Emotional healing is the hardest part of the job. This is a job that I avoided until I felt ready to face my shortcomings, past traumas, and acquired habits.
Reciting positive mantras and showing peace is easy, but real transformation starts from within.
Change only began to happen after I developed a genuine curiosity about my life and how I live it. I was determined to face my traumas and was brave enough to be aware of my triggers. I didn’t magically get rid of all my fears, but now I look at my life differently and do practices that help me feel loved and protected.
If I run into difficulties, I have a strong foundation of love, empathy for myself and the understanding that suffering is part of life. I try to eat well to keep my peace of mind. I am creative every day. I choose one thing every day — mantras, prayers that I adapted for myself, salt baths, breath monitoring, nature walks? — to help you cope with difficulties. And I try to move every day.
All this helps me stay in touch with myself. Reciting positive mantras and showing peace is easy, but real transformation starts from within. Once you stop hiding from darkness, there will be room for love and light. And when the darkness visits you again, the inner light will give you the strength to cope with any difficulties. This light will always guide you home. Keep going — you’re doing great!