Why do we stop loving?

VLADISLAV RARELY, psychologist

Because our personality tends to change over time. Thus, we are forced again and again to accept the changed partner and understand him for ourselves.

Since the changes can be of a different nature, there is no guarantee that we can continue to be with this person. Some of us, due to circumstances or life’s trials, change and grow a lot to cope with difficulties. While the partner stands still and does not change. Or, on the contrary, there is a confrontation with the aggravated psychological problems in us or in our partner. It happens that relationships turn into codependency (when one is responsible for the well-being of the other, instead of being responsible for their own well-being — this is often characteristic of our parents). Someone can realize this and leave such a relationship. But these are just a few examples of a myriad of possible causes.

You can achieve that, being with a partner in a relationship for many years, you will love all your life different personalities, but in one person. However, this is achieved by mutual internal work. Needless to say, the desire to live happily with the one and only and forever and at the same time do nothing, but only take, is an infantile desire and has nothing to do with reality. But, unfortunately, many are interested in a fairy tale, and not in real, complex relationships in which you need to constantly grow above yourself and make compromises.

MICHAEL BELENKY, IT

Once I watched a documentary cycle about the life of a flock of chimpanzees. Everything was there — relationships, value system, hierarchy. The authors of the film talked about the accepted norms of morality (there is one in the pack) and the concepts of loyalty (which they do not have). Since then, everyone understood about us. People are not swans. We can just get bored with everything, like chimpanzees.

RIMMA NEUIMINA

We often confuse love with infatuation, passion. We begin to idealize a person, but when falling in love passes, we see a real picture that does not suit us. I am sure — if love passes, then it was not love.

ALEXEY ABRAMOVICH

There is nothing permanent in the world, except for change.

ARTEM KOSTUZHEV, psychotherapist

A lot of reasons: from personal (the appearance of a new partner, family disharmony that has arisen) to random factors. The saddest thing is that even knowing the reason will not change anything and will not help return love.

For more information, on the website TheQuestion.