Why do children play?

African children by the end of the first year of life overtake European ones in terms of mental and physical development. This was discovered by the Frenchwoman Marcel Je Ber back in 1956, while conducting research in Uganda.

The reason for this difference is that the African child does not lie in a crib or stroller. From birth, he is at his mother’s chest, tied to her with a scarf or a piece of cloth. The child learns the world, constantly hearing her voice, feeling himself under the protection of the mother’s body. It is this sense of security that helps him develop faster.

But in the future, European children overtake their African peers. And there is an explanation for this too: for about a year they are pulled out of their strollers and given the opportunity to play. And children in African countries start working early. At this point, their childhood ends and their development stops.

What is happening today?

Here is a typical mother’s complaint: “The child is 6 years old and does not want to study at all. In kindergarten, he does not even sit at the desk for two classes, but only 4-5 of them every day. When does he play?

But he is very sick. He goes to kindergarten for three days, and then sits at home for a week, and we catch up with the kindergarten program. And in the evening he has circles, choreography, English lessons … «

Business consultants say, «The market has been watching your kids since they were two years old.» They must have time to undergo training in order to get into a normal elite institution at the age of three. And at six you should consult a specialist to decide on a profession. Otherwise, your child will not fit into this competitive world.

In China, modern children study from morning to night. And we are also moving in this direction. Our children are not very well oriented in space, they do not know how to play and are slowly turning into African children who start working at the age of three.

How long is the childhood of our children?

On the other hand, modern research by anthropologists and neuroscientists shows that childhood and adolescence are becoming more extended. Today, the periodization of adolescence looks like this:

• 11 – 13 years — pre-adolescent age (although in modern girls, menstruation begins earlier than in previous generations, on average — at 11 and a half years);
• 13 – 15 years — early adolescence
• 15 – 19 years — middle adolescence
• 19–22 years old (25 years old) — Late adolescence.

It turns out that childhood continues today until the age of 22–25. And this is good, because people are living longer and medicine is developing rapidly. But if a child stops playing at the age of three and begins to study, will his enthusiasm continue by the time he leaves school, when it’s time to start adulthood?

Generation of gamers and 4 «K»

Today’s world is computerized, and the first generation of gamers has grown up before our eyes. They are already working. But psychologists have noticed that they have a completely different motivation.

Previous generations worked out of a sense of duty and because «it’s right.» Young people are motivated by passion and reward. They see no point in working out of a sense of duty, they are bored.

In twenty years, only creative professions will remain in the world, the rest will be done by robots. This means that the knowledge that the school gives today will practically not be useful to them. And those skills that we cannot give them will come in handy. Because we do not know what they exactly need, or we do not have these skills.

And it turns out that by sending the child to all sorts of developmental circles and sections, we deprive him of the only skill that he will definitely need in the future — we do not give him the opportunity to play, play important processes and train on them.

Corporations working with the education of the future call the 4 K’s of modern education:

1. Creativity.
2. Critical thinking.
3. Communication.
4. Cooperation.

There is no trace of mathematics, English and other school subjects here. All of them become just a means to help us teach these four «K»s to children.

A child with four K skills is adapted to today’s world. That is, he easily determines the skills he lacks and easily gets them in the process of studying: he found it on the Internet — read it — understood what to do with it.

Is a computer game a game?

Educators and psychologists have two approaches to the process of gamification:

1. Computer addiction leads to a total loss of touch with realityand we need to sound the alarm. Because they live in modulators of reality, they forget how to communicate, they don’t really know how to do something with their hands, but they do in three clicks what seems very difficult to us. For example, set up a newly purchased phone. They lose touch with our reality, but they have a connection with the reality that is inaccessible to us.

2. Computer games are the reality of the future. There the child develops the skills necessary for the future life. He plays with someone on the Net, and does not sit alone.

The child also expresses aggression in games, so juvenile delinquency has dropped sharply these days. Perhaps modern children would play computer games less if they had someone to communicate with in life.

There is one difference: in a computer game, reality is set not by the players themselves, but by the creators of the games. And parents should understand who makes this game and what meaning he puts into it.

Today, one can easily find games with psychological narratives that force a child to think, make decisions, and make moral choices. Such games provide useful psychological knowledge, theories and ways of life.

Older generations received this knowledge from fairy tales and books. Our ancestors learned from myths, from sacred books. Today, psychological knowledge and theories are translated into computer games.

What are your children playing?

Ordinary role play, however, has an important place in our children’s lives. And on the basis of basic, archetypal plots, computer games are also created.

Pay attention to what games your child especially likes to play. If he “freezes” on one particular game, it means that he is working out the skills he lacks there, making up for the lack of some emotions.

Think about the meaning of this game? What is the child missing? Confessions? Is he unable to vent his aggression? He is trying to raise his self-esteem and he has no chance to increase it in another way?

Let’s take a look at the point of some popular RPGs.

doctor game

It helps to work out a variety of fears and the very technology of going to the doctor, the treatment process.

A doctor is the kind of person that mom obeys. He is more important than his mother. Therefore, the opportunity to play doctor is also an opportunity to play power.

In addition, playing hospital allows him to legitimately examine his body and the body of a friend, as well as pets.

If a child is especially persistent and regularly manipulates imaginary medical objects — puts enemas, droppers, then it is very possible that he has already experienced medical abuse. Children have a hard time seeing the difference between suffering from an illness and suffering from a healing process.

Game in the store

In this game, the child receives communication skills, learns to build relationships, conduct a dialogue, argue (bargain). And also playing in the store helps him present himself, show that he (and in him) has something good, valuable.

At the symbolic level, the child advertises his inner virtues in the process of “buying and selling”. The «buyer» praises the goods of the «seller» and thereby raises his self-esteem.

restaurant game

In this game, the child works out, first of all, his relationship with his mother. After all, a restaurant is cooking, cooking, and who is the most important cook in the house? Of course, mom.

And in the process of «cooking» or receiving guests, the child tries to compete with her, to control her. In addition, he can fearlessly play out a variety of feelings that he has for his mother. For example, express your dissatisfaction by saying, for example, to her: “Fi, I don’t like it, you have a fly in a glass.” Or accidentally drop the plate.

Mother’s Daughters

Expansion of the role repertoire. You can be a mother, «revenge» your mother, take revenge, develop the skills of caring for others and yourself.

Because in the future the girl will have to be a mother not only for her children, but also for herself. Stand up for your opinion in front of other people.

War game

In this game, you can try to be aggressive, learn to defend your rights, your territory.

Symbolically, it is a representation of internal conflict in a playful way. Two armies, like two parts of psychic reality, fighting among themselves. Will one army win or will two armies be able to agree among themselves? The child develops technologies for resolving internal and external conflicts.

Hide and Seek

This is a game about the opportunity to be alone without a mother, but not for long, just a little bit. Experience excitement, fear, and then the joy of meeting and see the joy in my mother’s eyes. The game is the training of adult life in safe conditions.

play mindfully with children

Many adults today do not know how to play with their children. Adults are bored, also because they do not understand the meaning of their actions. But, as you can see, the meaning in role-playing games is huge. Here are just some of the meanings of these games.

When parents realize that sitting next to their child and yelling «oh!» or «ah!» or by moving the soldiers, they increase his self-esteem or contribute to the resolution of internal conflicts, their attitude towards the game changes. And they themselves begin to play more willingly.

Parents who play with their children every day do a very important job for the development of their child and enjoy it at the same time.