Everything changes !
Because the child cannot openly and directly verbalize these moods to these parents, small changes are taking place in everyday life: from chronic physiological complaints to school results which drop sharply, those around them can miss childhood depression.
Parents must ask the right questions about changes in their little one
They are on the front line with their child for signs of sadness or some withdrawal all at once. And they must ask themselves questions when faced with their changing baby, for example in the face of classic situations of loss of a loved one or during a sudden separation from one of the parents.
Why?
Does he have temporary problems with his friends at school? Is it the loss of a loved one that touches him at this time? Is it a real depression, which has set in for the last few months and no one has seen anything?
As Luis Véra, psychotherapist reminds us, “… it is not the separations or the losses which are sources of depression, but the impossibility, on the occasion of these, to carry out a true process of mourning and detachment .. ».
Either way, be vigilant, some signs do not deceive
– a permanent sadness, which does not pass, and which is not motivated by a precise and serious incident;
– a look back;
– sudden anxiety at separation and at school
– restlessness at home, he suddenly becomes insolent and irritable;
– school difficulties
If you notice a change in your child’s behavior, write them down, they can be useful if you see a therapist afterwards.
Help your child to talk about it
There is a difference between “normal” and transient depressive symptoms and true blunt depression. During bereavement or the loss of a loved one, situations where “ normal depressive reactions Are healthy allow the child to show that he has understood the importance of the major fact. And he reacts by depressing! It’s normal !
Other tips that work well include helping your child turn a negative or pessimistic thought into a positive one. If he is invited to a birthday party where he knows few friends, insist on the interesting side of getting to know other friends than the regulars.
Likewise in everyday life, parents can obviously reinforce positive behaviors: we talk about the emotions of the day and we put words on what was felt, in positive as in negative. “The plumber is still not here, that makes me angry!” .. ”, can say the mother in front of her child.
It is a simple game where each thought is associated with an emotion that is named.
As Céline, the mother of a two and a half year old boy, explains to us today, the moment of separation from the father was difficult, with times when “… the signs were that he waited for his father behind the front door, banging his head on the ground or on the door with screams. The first anger lasted almost an hour. I knew he was not well but I did not have too many solutions at the time (it was in July 2, he was 2006 years old). … No words since he was not yet speaking but a lot of tears, cries, and nervous breakdowns. ”.