Contents
Daddy at childbirth
She is very rare the silhouette of the father who waits, stressed in the hallway, the birth of her child. The 1950s opened the doors of delivery rooms to men. The presence of the father at childbirth is now almost prescribed, even ordered.
Societal phenomenon
Confronted with real social pressure, future fathers tend to “submit” to it, whereas their participation is ultimately unsuccessful. nothing obligatory. It must remain the choice of the couple, a carefully considered decision, forged during discussions and questions, the important remaining to know why we are going there.
It is a fact, women in search of support no longer hesitate to request the presence of the father at childbirth, made even more necessary by the family estrangement which characterizes today’s society. No contraindications to that, on the contrary … but on condition that the future fathers really want it and that they are sufficiently prepared.
When the mother refuses the father’s presence at childbirth … Some women prefer not to see their man during childbirth in order to “protect” him, also for fear of his reaction. Others will prefer the support of another woman, a mother, a sister. It is a choice that must be respected and discussed within the couple. |
Daddy spectator or actor?
Even if childbirth is one of those magical and long-awaited moments that we never cease to imagine, the violent images it sometimes conveys can surprise, even shock, and go beyond anything that fathers had imagined. until there. ” It was an important and beautiful stage in my life, but also traumatic “, Recognizes Thierry who filmed the birth of his wife. ” I was not prepared for such violence. »For Raphaël,« nothing beats the experience ». Seeing her daughter arrive with her eyes wide open was the happiest day of her life! On the side of Ludovic, it is the surprise and the wonder: ” When I saw that big baby head in this tiny penis, I wondered how she was capable of that. I was taken with a mad love and a huge tenderness for her it was so fabulous.
Dad at childbirth, often lost!
Childbirth can also plunge dads into a world where they have a hard time finding their place, assailed by a feeling of helplessness for some. Like Christophe, who did not know not what to do to relieve his companion, thinking that he would not even be able to stay until the end and falling in tears when his little one arrives. Or Hervé, whose woman gave birth without an epidural, ” with cries of suffering and very strong words. “Results: for a minority, this moment is filled with regret for not having abstained, even if, over time, everything fades …
Fathers more or less active at childbirth
During childbirth, if the dads want to move, sit down, even go out… they are free to go! “I didn’t think I was looking,” admits Franck, “but when the gynecologist said“ I see the hair ”, I couldn’t help myself. I was anxious, impatient, overjoyed. ” Bruno, himself, wanted “to be transparent while continuing to assist …” It was at this moment that he finally understood the happiness that his parents experienced with their three children.
Everyone participates at the height of their means, supporting the mother-to-be, liaising with professionals or getting involved as a member of the team. Often, moreover, when fathers feel “in the act”, with the feeling of helping their wives (and their children!), Their anxieties immediately disappear. But no misunderstanding: their presence in the delivery room is not necessarily a guarantee of paternity …
An unforgettable moment !
“A mixture of anxiety, haste and intense happiness! For nothing in the world I would not have missed such beautiful moments. An emotion that invaded me throughout the work and overwhelmed me at the time of delivery, and which makes me love and respect my wife more. ”
explains Sébastien.
“At the sight of such a miracle, the first sentence that came to my mind: hats off Ladies!”
Pierre, by Internet
Childbirth does not make you become a father
Symbolically, by cutting the cord at birth, the man marks his place for the first time, separating the body of the baby from that of his mother. But it is above all by giving their name (and not their body!) That men recognize themselves more as fathers. As Freud said: “motherhood is a sensory process, fatherhood is a process of thought.”
An essentially cultural phenomenon, the presence of fathers during childbirth is part of the rites of today’s society. Neither good nor bad, it takes its full value only when the dad wants to participate, in agreement with his spouse. See you in a few years to see if the trend has changed …
The fathers are talking about it!
Some maternity hospitals, in large cities in particular, organize talking workshops for future dads, helping them to express their anxieties and prepare for childbirth.
Each father has his own way of experiencing childbirth
On the day of childbirth, in which group will the dad be?
Accompanying
These fathers adopt a maternal attitude (tender words and gestures, listening, protection, support, etc.), staying at the bedside of their partner who appreciates their presence during childbirth, especially if she cannot benefit from that of her mother.
The leaders
It is often the fathers who insist on being present at the birth. They identify with their wife, time the contractions, breathe like her, push… actively participating in the birth.
Admirers
these fathers do not want to miss anything from childbirth and especially not the release of the baby. The opportunity for them to contemplate a scene that has fascinated them since their childhood and see what has always been prohibited: the sex of their own mother. By easily identifying with the unborn child, they somehow relive their own birth.
Video amateurs
These are the fathers who film or take photos all the time during childbirth, to finally protect themselves behind their lens. They are not ready to watch the scene without an “intermediary”. Some also do it at the request of their partner, who wants to keep a souvenir.
The deserters
Confronted with their powerlessness in front of the maternal body, these uncomfortable fathers do not find their place during childbirth, sometimes shocked by the sex of their wife or feeling guilty of their suffering. To escape this unbearable situation, they unconsciously develop so-called “neurotic” defenses: need to go out to eat, professional obligations, malaise, tetany attack….