It is very unpleasant when the one you help not only does not thank you, but also begins to actively dislike you. Why?
It’s a shame when the one with whom you are messing around is not grateful to you, and even more – soon begins to dislike you. Well, what the hell! You help, for example, your artist friends with exhibitions, tell everyone around them what color composition is in their works, you chirp about cadmium or lapis lazuli, and they will either hide an evil muzzle, or a squeamish, or even frankly compassionate one – they say, all these flutterings are from winglessness, vanity from the inaccessibility of high flight, if you don’t get in trouble, you don’t go crazy, it means – alas and oh – you live bourgeois, you get stuck in satiety and washed floors, but you could get a vertical take-off if not for these unfortunate circumstances. Never joy in response to a substituted shoulder.
The example of Pirosmani and Zverev is instructive: their oilcloths and scraps of paper made the revelers rich, so the conclusions are drawn, now every napkin with handwriting is countless. No, no, not patrons of the past, not philanthropists, but grateful creators. No wonder no one writes or talks about large charitable projects. What for? Do they give out of generosity for the arts? How naive to think so!
My smart friends, not from among the unrecognized artists, musicians and writers, explain to me: what you help, on the one hand, they need, and on the other, it is humiliating for them: they say, you are better, more successful than them. And this is unpleasant to realize. So don’t wait, thank you. After all, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
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- Help yourself by helping others
This phrase, about which many mistakenly think that it is biblical, in fact, is the wisdom of the whole people, cast in bronze mixed with tears for many centuries. But in fact, it does not mean at all what we used to think. This proverb tells us: it is not the one who helps everyone who goes to hell, but the one who is helped by everyone – a child who has become crooked from the cares of seven nannies. Because the person himself knows better how best to help himself, while others do not heal him, but cripple him. But fresher experience has changed the meaning: the general interpretation of the hellish perspective is unambiguously addressed to the hand of the giver. Alas.
And why not?
Because all of us, without realizing it, are investing in our social appearance, in a pleasant self-feeling, in the future heavenly place in heaven. And you don’t need to want gratitude for your help! I think. No need to try to get love for yourself in exchange for good deeds. Do good and forget about it. It’s also the wisdom of the ages. If you succeed, then hell will be laid to someone, and joy is not from the one who thanks, but in the form of a calm conscience, the ability to rejoice and the love of true friends.