What should a woman do before the age of 30?

“The clock is ticking!”, “Where are you without a diploma?”, “Do you want to remain an old maid ?!” — such warnings and questions haunt those who have deviated from accepted standards and live according to their own script. Persecuted, forced to feel guilt and inadequacy.

Maybe a woman, on the contrary, does not owe anything to anyone? Not certainly in that way. At a minimum, we all need:

1. Realize that we owe nothing to anyone but ourselves

Musts are what prevent many from living a truly worthwhile life. A set of stamps and attitudes limits the possibilities of choice, drives into the framework, crushes with a feeling of unbearableness of the imposed roles and, as a result, leads to neurosis. Women who live under the yoke of obligations, often by the age of thirty (and sometimes even earlier) are covered by a powerful wave of frustration from the impossibility of being perfect and meeting all expectations.

So the sooner you realize that no one but you has the authority to write a manual for your life, the more happy years you will give yourself.

2. Separate from parents, maintaining a good relationship with them

Living in a parental family, we cannot fully assume the functions of an adult. Psychologically, we are stuck in a childish, dependent position, even if we cook for ourselves and earn a living.

If before the age of 30 you never find yourself alone with adult problems, challenges, responsibilities and decisions, then you risk forever remaining a “mother’s daughter”.

3. Heal from childhood trauma

Unfortunately, few people in the post-Soviet space had an ideal childhood. Many have taken with them into adulthood a baggage of unforgiven grievances, negative attitudes and psychological problems. But living with it is not the best solution. Hidden childhood traumas can interfere with achieving goals, building healthy relationships, and adequately assessing reality. Therefore, it is important to work them out on your own or, in more severe cases, together with a psychotherapist.

4. Reveal and accept your individuality

Being yourself is an incredibly important skill that many lose as they grow older. We begin to look around, try to please someone, behave unnaturally, lose uniqueness, forget about talents and strengths. The Inner Critic wakes up in us, which rejects ideas, ridicules desires, and slows down the movement towards goals.

It is important to remember in time that you are one of a kind, with a unique set of qualities. Don’t try to be someone else. Instead, explore your characteristics and feel free to show your true self. ⠀

5.Find your style

Style helps us to express ourselves, and by the age of thirty it would be good to understand what message you are trying to convey to the outside, what image you want to create, what feelings you intend to evoke in others. Style is inextricably linked with the skill of self-presentation. It is important for an adult woman to master it perfectly in order to clearly and legibly declare herself, even without words.

6. Define your values

Values ​​are the foundation of our life. Without their understanding, we do not know what to rely on, on what basis to make decisions, how to prioritize; we do not know what nourishes us and gives us a sense of the fullness of life.

What is really important to you? Freedom? Family? Development? Creation? Before thirty, it is desirable to study the set of your basic values ​​along and across and begin to build a life based on them.

7. Find a purpose and follow your path

By purpose, one should understand not one single thing for life, but one’s key function. What you do better than others, what you are constantly drawn to. That without which you are not you. For example, you elegantly set the table, beautifully wrap gifts for friends, look for decor elements for your apartment. What does this have in common? Aestheticization, the desire to create beauty. This is the key function, your purpose, which you can implement in completely different ways.

8. Find «your pack»

Over time, many ties that were held only by social conventions break up, and it may seem that you are left alone, without friends and good acquaintances. To prevent this from happening, you need to surround yourself with those with whom you are united by values ​​and interests. Let there be few of them, but they will be people with whom it is really comfortable and warm, communication with which fills and inspires.

9. Start taking care of your body

It is desirable to understand as early as possible that the body is our home for life. This is not a rented apartment, you cannot move out of it if a pipe bursts. Treat it carefully, take care of your health, watch your weight, attend preventive examinations, play sports, eat right, take care of your skin.

10. Learn how to properly manage resources

Time, money and strength are the main resources that you need to be able to manage, otherwise all dreams will remain castles in the sand.

Before the age of 30, it is extremely important to switch from a consumer attitude to an investment one — to learn how to invest money wisely, and not to waste it, to direct efforts to worthwhile projects, and not to waste on useless throwing, to rationally allocate time, and not spend it on many hours of watching TV shows or stuck on social media.

Of course, this can be done after thirty. But, if you close these issues as early as possible, you can secure a life full of joy and achievement, pleasure and meaning.