For many of us, being alone with our thoughts is a real challenge. How do we behave and what are we ready for, if only to somehow escape from the internal dialogue?
Usually, when we say that we are not doing anything, we mean that we are doing trifles, killing time. But in the literal sense of inaction, many of us do our best to avoid, because then we are left alone with our thoughts. This can cause such discomfort that our mind immediately begins to look for any opportunity to avoid internal dialogue and switch to external stimuli.
Electric shock or reflection?
This is evidenced by a series of experiments conducted by a group of psychologists from Harvard University and the University of Virginia.
In the first of these, student participants were asked to spend 15 minutes alone in an uncomfortable, sparsely furnished room and think about something. At the same time, they were given two conditions: not to get up from the chair and not to fall asleep. Most of the students noted that it was difficult for them to focus on something, and about half admitted that the experiment itself was unpleasant for them.
In the second experiment, participants received a mild electric shock in the ankle area. They were asked to rate how painful it was and whether they were willing to pay a small amount to no longer experience this pain. After that, the participants had to spend time alone, as in the first experiment, with one difference: if they wished, they could again experience an electric shock.
Being alone with our thoughts causes discomfort, for this reason we immediately grab our smartphones in the subway and in lines
The result amazed the researchers themselves. Left alone, many who were willing to pay to avoid being electrocuted voluntarily subjected themselves to this painful procedure at least once. Among men, there were 67% of such people, among women 25%.
Similar results were obtained in experiments with older people, including 80-year-olds. “Being alone for many participants caused such discomfort that they voluntarily hurt themselves, just to distract themselves from their thoughts,” the researchers concluded.
That’s why, whenever we’re left alone with nothing to do — in the subway car, in line at the clinic, waiting for a flight at the airport — we immediately grab our gadgets to kill time.
Meditation: Resist the Aggressive Current of Thought
This is also the reason why many fail to meditate, writes science journalist James Kingsland in his book The Mind of Siddhartha. After all, when we sit in silence with our eyes closed, our thoughts begin to wander freely, jumping from one to another. And the task of the meditator is to learn to notice the appearance of thoughts and let them go. Only in this way can we calm our mind.
“People often get annoyed when they are told about awareness from all sides,” says James Kingsland. “Nevertheless, this may be the only way to resist the aggressive flow of our thoughts. Only by learning to notice how they fly back and forth, like balls in a pinball, can we dispassionately observe them and stop this flow.
The importance of meditation is also emphasized by the authors of the study. “Without such training,” they conclude, “a person is likely to prefer any activity to reflection, even one that harms him and which, logically, he should avoid.”