«Violence is the rapture of power»

In Russia, the activity of a psychologist is not licensed. In theory, any graduate of a specialized faculty of a university can call himself a psychologist and work with people. Legislatively in the Russian Federation there is no secret of a psychologist, like a medical or lawyer’s secret, there is no single ethical code.

Spontaneously different psychotherapeutic schools and approaches create their own ethics committees, but, as a rule, they involve specialists who already have an active ethical position, reflecting on their role in the profession and on the role of psychologists in the lives of clients and society.

A situation has developed in which neither the scientific degree of the helping specialist, nor decades of practical experience, nor work, even in specialized universities of the country, guarantee the recipient of psychological assistance that the psychologist will observe his interests and ethical code.

But still, it was hard to imagine that helping specialists, psychologists, people whose opinion is listened to as an expert, will join the accusation of the participants of flash mobs against violence (for example, #I’m not afraid to say) of lies, demonstrativeness, desire for fame and «mental exhibitionism». This makes us think not only about the absence of a common ethical field, but also about the absence of professional reflection in the form of personal therapy and supervision.

What is the essence of violence?

Violence, unfortunately, is inherent in any society. But society’s reaction to it varies. We live in a country with a «culture of violence» fueled by gender stereotypes, myths and traditional blaming the victim and justifying the strong. We can say that this is a social form of the notorious «Stockholm syndrome», when the victim is identified with the rapist, so as not to feel vulnerable, so as not to be among those who can be humiliated and trampled on.

According to statistics, in Russia every 20 minutes someone becomes a victim of domestic violence. Out of 10 cases of sexual violence, only 10-12% of the victims turn to the police, and only one in five the police accept a statement¹. The rapist often does not bear any responsibility. Victims live for years in silence and fear.

Violence is not only a physical impact. This is the position from which one person says to another: «I have the right to do something with you, ignoring your will.» This is a meta-message: “You are nobody, and how you feel and what you want is not important.”

Violence is not only physical (beatings), but also emotional (humiliation, verbal aggression) and economic: for example, if you force an addicted person to beg for money even for the most necessary things.

Sexual assault is often covered with a romantic veil, when the victim is attributed to excessive sexual attractiveness, and the perpetrator is an incredible outburst of passion. But it’s not about passion, but about the power of one person over another. Violence is the satisfaction of the needs of the rapist, the rapture of power.

Violence depersonalizes the victim. A person feels himself to be an object, an object, a thing. He is deprived of his will, the ability to control his body, his life. Violence cuts off the victim from the world and leaves them alone, because it is difficult to tell such things, but it is scary to tell them without being judged.

How should a psychologist respond to a victim’s story?

If a victim of violence decides to talk about what happened at a psychologist’s appointment, then condemning, not believing, or saying: “You hurt me with your story” is criminal, because it can bring even more harm. When a victim of violence decides to speak up in a public space, which requires courage, then accusing her of fantasies and lies or intimidating her with retraumatization is unprofessional.

Here are some theses that describe the professionally competent behavior of a helping specialist in such a situation.

1. He believes in the victim. He doesn’t play himself an expert in someone else’s life, the Lord God, an investigator, an interrogator, his profession is not about that. The harmony and plausibility of the story of the victim is a matter of investigation, prosecution and defense. The psychologist does something that even people close to the victim may not have done: he believes immediately and unconditionally. Supports immediately and unconditionally. Lends a helping hand — immediately.

2. He doesn’t blame. He is not the Holy Inquisition, the morality of the victim is none of his business. Her habits, life choices, manner of dressing and choosing friends are none of his business. His job is to support. The psychologist under no circumstances should broadcast to the victim: «she is to blame.»

3. He doesn’t give in to fear. Don’t hide your head in the sand. Does not defend his picture of a «just world», blaming and devaluing the victim of violence and what happened to her. Nor does he fall into his traumas, because the client has probably already experienced a helpless adult who was so frightened by what he heard that he chose not to believe it.

4. He respects the victim’s decision to speak out. He does not tell the victim that her story is so dirty that she has the right to be heard only in the sterile conditions of a private office. Does not decide for her how much she can increase her trauma by talking about it. Does not make the victim responsible for the discomfort of others who will find it difficult or difficult to hear or read her story. This already frightened her rapist. This and the fact that she will lose the respect of others if she tells. Or hurt them.

5. He doesn’t appreciate the extent of the victim’s suffering. The severity of the beatings or the number of episodes of violence is the prerogative of the investigator. For the psychologist, only the subjective experiences of the victim, her own assessment, are important.

6. He doesn’t call suffer a victim of domestic violence in the name of religious beliefs or from the idea of ​​preserving the family, does not impose his will and does not give advice, for which he is not responsible, but the victim of violence.

7. He does not offer recipes for how to avoid violence. Does not satisfy his idle curiosity by finding out information that is hardly necessary to provide assistance. He does not offer the victim to parse her behavior to the bones, so that this does not happen to her again. Does not inspire the victim with the idea and does not support such, if the victim herself has it, that the behavior of the rapist depends on her.

Makes no reference to his difficult childhood or subtle spiritual organization. On the shortcomings of education or the harmful influence of the environment. The victim of abuse should not be responsible for the abuser. There is only one way to avoid violence: to stop the rapist himself.

8. He remembers what the profession obliges him to do. He is expected to help and to have expert knowledge. He understands that his word, even spoken not within the walls of the office, but in public space, affects both the victims of violence and those who want to close their eyes, plug their ears and believe that the victims made it all up, that they themselves are to blame.

If the psychotherapist allows himself to take the position of “itself to blame”, he violates the code of ethics. If the psychotherapist catches himself on one of the points above, he needs personal therapy and / or supervision. Moreover, if this happens, it discredits all psychologists and undermines the foundations of the profession. This is something that shouldn’t be.

¹ Information from the Independent Charitable Center for Assistance to Survivors of Sexual Violence «Sisters», sisters-help.ru.