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They say you can’t buy happiness, but is it true? If not, how to properly manage money to feel better? Psychologist and coach Ian Bowen decided to look into this issue and came to interesting conclusions.
The proverb “you can’t buy happiness” in one form or another is found in different cultures. It would seem that folk wisdom cannot be argued. But what if this postulate is called into question?
“When you want to cheer yourself up, do you spend money on shopping? And do you feel happy about it? asks psychologist Ian Bowen. “Or you feel guilty because shopping is “bad” and wasteful, because not everyone around has such an opportunity …”
So is it possible to become happier by spending money? Ian Bowen thinks so. And studies show that the main thing is to do it in a certain way.
There are rules that should be followed so that parting with money brings joy. Can:
- buy experience;
- use money to improve pastime;
- pamper yourself;
- pay in advance;
- be generous.
«Shopping on the machine», which helps to hide from life, is by no means the most useful option
And there is something else: you can and should experience pure joy from shopping! It’s nice to buy a thing that you like and help you express yourself, and then wear it, demonstrating it to the whole world. It’s great, having made a victory at the next stage of life, to buy yourself a symbolic «prize» that will remind you how much we can do and motivate us to new achievements. According to Ian Bowen, this helps to take decisive and courageous actions.
And we can also find ways to recognize, encourage, and celebrate life’s events that don’t require us to make a financial investment. “However, if you still decide to spend a little, enjoy and don’t feel guilty,” advises Ian Bowen.
But «shopping on the machine», which helps to hide from life, is by no means the most useful option. Perhaps it was thanks to him that the negative “reputation” of money was formed. Accumulating credit card debts, stuffing wardrobes with things from the next new collection that we don’t really need, don’t give pleasure and won’t be worn, is pointless. This behavior leads not to joy, but to depression.
The right approach to money can help you feel happier, says Ian Bowen. She offers three ways to «buy happiness.»
1. Spend money to please others
If you have free money, you can do something unexpected and pleasant: for example, send a large bouquet of flowers to your beloved aunt or congratulate an old friend on some achievement.
If there is no money for such things, use your energy for its intended purpose. Can’t order a bouquet of flowers? Record a video message for your aunt, and please your friend with a selection of your common photos.
2. Invest in your growth
Being happy means investing in yourself. You may have an interesting course or program in mind — not necessarily related to your main activity, but, as they say, “for the soul”. The psychologist suggests not to wonder if it is wise to spend money on such training, but simply to do it because you want to.
If financial opportunities are limited, you still should not deprive yourself of new knowledge — the Internet opens up a lot of opportunities to get them for free. “Watch inspirational videos, take free online courses,” Bowen recommends.
3. Invest in things that make you feel better.
Ian Bowen suggests focusing on purchases that make you feel stronger, happier, smarter, or simply better. Shop not because it’s a must-have fashion item, but because it reflects something important about you.
And for this, again, it is not necessary to have finances. You can please yourself, encourage or celebrate a significant event without spending money. “Look for creative ways to remember the current moment, to celebrate a significant day for you. For example, find a picture that suits your mood and set it as your screensaver.”
It is obvious that it is not the money itself that makes us happy — the way we spend it can bring a smile on our faces. But fanatical accumulation and unwillingness to spend money on the joys of our short life are just as harmful as thoughtless waste.
Everyone can decide for himself what will bring him pleasure. Philanthropy? Spontaneity? Adventures? Creation? This choice will determine which way of spending money will make you happier.
About the author: Ian Bowen is a psychologist and coach.