Travels, exams and wonderful worlds — these «dream plots» are familiar to many and can give the key to understanding yourself and your unconscious experiences. Psychotherapist David Bedrick explains their meaning with case studies.
Every day we interact with ourselves, other people and the world around us. We try to make the right choice: which of our experiences and thoughts to share, and which ones to hide. With some people, we should be on the lookout: words and actions can betray our pain or vulnerability. You should not talk about your addictions, irritability or anger with others. With the third, we should be careful and hide information about illnesses or about what is happening in our spiritual life.
We do it for a good cause or according to the circumstances. However, a large part of these decisions are made unconsciously — we do not always realize what deep feelings, fantasies, needs and lessons of the past guide us.
You can work with feelings, thoughts, and experiences “left behind the scenes” if you follow the path of researching dreams
But what happens to everything that has not been expressed, expressed, felt and generally understood? Sometimes — absolutely nothing, but some of the hidden emotions and thoughts remain suppressed and subsequently become the cause of our inadequate behavior with others, conflicts, depression, physical ailments, indignation and other seemingly inexplicable feelings and actions.
David Bedrick emphasizes that this is absolutely normal — this is our human nature. But with these «left behind the scenes» feelings, thoughts, experiences, you can work if you follow the path known both to the original cultures of the aborigines, and to modern psychological science. This path is the exploration of our dreams. Here are three dream plots that most of us encounter from time to time.
1. Inability to travel
“I bought a plane ticket, but I missed my flight”, “I dreamed that I was going on a trip, but I just couldn’t decide what to take on the road”, “In a dream, my partner and I were going on vacation, but we couldn’t decide direction.»
In all these dreams, people were going on trips, but they encountered obstacles: they could not arrive on time, they forgot, they overslept, they missed the departure time. Such dreams usually reflect doubts, attachments or beliefs that limit us in one way or another, do not allow us to move forward, to go beyond our usual life towards the new.
A hindrance may be our need to be fully prepared for change — like in that dream where a person could not get ready for the road. Or the dynamics of the current relationship that interferes with our movement — for example, if in a dream we are embroiled in a conversation or conflict, because of which we are late.
It is important to take your hopes and desires seriously and worry less about what is right without trying to plan your whole life.
Or we may be hindered by the role that we play in life and beyond which we cannot yet go beyond — the duties of a parent, caring for someone, the need to be perfect, the pursuit of money. Or maybe it’s about the overall level of employment in our lives, and then in a dream we can get stuck in a traffic jam.
When we have such dreams, we should support ourselves, be inspired to “jump”, to take a decisive step. It is important to take your hopes and desires seriously and worry less about what is right without trying to plan your whole life ahead.
2. Failed exam
“For many years I have had the same recurring dream. It’s like I’m back in college, like I was 20 years ago. I forgot that I was supposed to attend a certain subject, and then it turns out that tomorrow is an exam. The discipline is not very important — usually physical education — but I need to get marks, so I’m desperate. When I sleep, I experience terrible anxiety.”
Many of us dream that we overslept, forgot to learn a subject, or missed an exam. Such dreams are always full of anxiety and often signal that we consider some business in our life to be unfinished. Sometimes they talk about what we don’t believe in — in our worth, in our ability to cope with something, in our strengths, talents, opportunities. It may also be due to low self-esteem.
Sleep analysis can help us determine who underestimates us, does not believe in our strengths and significance — ourselves or someone else.
However, notes David Bedrick, people who have such dreams simply have not yet realized that all the “exams” have already been passed with “excellent”, and they themselves are valuable, ready, capable, and so on. In fact, such a dream may indicate that we “failed” the exam simply because we no longer have to take it.
An analysis of such a dream can help us determine who underestimates us, does not believe in our strengths and significance — ourselves or someone in our environment. Bedrik’s client, who had the dream described above, fully agreed with this interpretation: «This is very true, because I never think that I am good enough for something, and I am always tormented by self-doubt.»
3. Distant worlds
“I went to Greece and experienced the feeling of falling in love. I don’t understand why I would go there.” “At first I tried to find my bike in a huge mall, and when it finally did, I rode it to the ocean and left on a big cruise ship.”
People who have such dreams do not feel obstacles and do not feel insignificant. In a sense, they have already taken a step forward in life, but they do not yet fully realize this. Sleep analysis helps to connect with that state of mind or feeling that we have not yet recognized, that part of us that wants to be conscious, recognized, alive. This part may seem “foreign” to us for the time being – this is how the image of Greece, a foreign country, was born.
In working with a woman who described a dream about Greece, Bedrick invited her to visualize, imagine her journey there and imagine the sensations. The last sentence was due to the fact that the woman experienced love in a dream. The therapist helped her with leading questions so that she would think less logically and use her senses more. He asked her about the music she heard in her sleep, the taste of the local food, the smells.
Like other types of analysis, the study of dreams is not universal and always depends on the specific situation and personality.
Bedrick then suggested that the woman lived to some extent in this «Greek» style — as if she were in love with this way of life. «Yes! This is exactly what I feel deep down,” agreed the client. She can still dance, sing, listen to music, or take «short trips» to her inner Greece.
Of course, like other types of analysis, diagnosis and interpretation, the study of dreams is not universal and always depends on the specific situation and the individual. Perhaps someone has had similar dreams, but the explanation given here does not suit him. David Bedrick recommends trusting your perception and choosing only what really resonates.
About the Author: David Bedrick is a psychotherapist and author of Objecting to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Popular Psychology.