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We have compiled a selection of the most interesting, in our opinion, new jokes about food.
Two coffees
– The boss presses the button and says to the secretary:
– Helen, two coffees, please!
Speaker Voice:
– Andrey Petrovich, can you leave me alone at least on the weekend? Move away from the intercom!
Good recipe
“Dear editors! Thank you for the recipe. We replaced the avocado with boiled potatoes and the shrimp with fried bacon, but overall we liked your recipe for the avocado salad with shrimp. ”
Stolle
“Every year at Christmas I’m going to bake a stollen. And every year I stop at the item “fill the dried fruit with rum”.
Seagulls
This morning I calmly asked my wife: – Honey, did you put the kettle on? While I was silently brushing my teeth, I found out that she was a slave for me, I do not value her, I stopped seeing her as a woman and it’s time for us to get divorced, because I found another one …… .. Wow, I drank some tea!
Soup
In the dining room:
– Do you have any soup?
– There is one.
– Which one?
– Pea pickle.
– These are two soups?
– Now one, we needed a saucepan.
Diet
FIRST DAY OF DIET. Hardly, but I got rid of all the junk food in the fridge. What can I say – it was delicious! ))))
Stronger?
– Anything you want, tea, coffee?
– Is there anything stronger?
– Hmm … – maybe nuts?
Morning
The easiest way to get a person up in the morning is coffee in bed … Pour it out and run !!!))))
Tasty coffee
– Do you want coffee with cognac?
– No.
– Without brandy?
– No coffee.
9 signs you need to lose weight
1. Your car began to press under your arms and at the waist.
2. Grandmother on your last visit looked at you and put the pancakes with meat back in the refrigerator.
3. During sex, you close your eyes and imagine someone else in your place.
4. You were out of breath, just smeared a loaf with mayonnaise.
5. Old women in headscarves constantly ask you for blessings.
6. In hotels, instead of a chocolate bar, they leave you a rope on the bed.
7. When walking, you start to stop early so that inertia does not play a cruel joke with you.
8. In the folds of the abdomen, you found an ace of diamonds and an old video remote control.
9. Your hoop is in time for you.
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