Thus is defined the fact of knowing how to relativize: it consists in making something lose its absolute character by putting it in relation with something analogous, comparable, or with a whole, a context. In fact, it is very useful in everyday life to know how to put things into perspective: we therefore manage to distance ourselves. If we consider the real gravity of the thing that bothers us or that paralyzes us, it can then appear less ferocious, less dangerous, less maddening than it seemed to us at first glance. A few ways to learn to put things into perspective …

«Among the things, some depend on us, others do not depend on it, said Epictetus, an ancient Stoic. Those which depend on us are opinion, tendency, desire, aversion: in a word, everything that is our work. Those which do not depend on us are bodies, goods, reputation, dignities: in a word, everything that is not our work. “

And this is a flagship idea of ​​Stoicism: it is possible for us, for example by means of a certain spiritual practice, to take a cognitive distance from the reactions that we have spontaneously. A principle that we can still apply today: in the face of events, we can relativize, in the deep sense of the term, that is to say put some distance, and see things for what they are. are ; impressions and ideas, not reality. Thus, the term relativize finds its origin in the Latin term “relativus“, Relative, itself derived from”report“, Or the relation, the relation; from 1265, this term is used to define “something that is only such in relation to certain conditions«.

In everyday life, we can then manage to assess a difficulty in its proper measure, considering the real situation … The supreme goal of philosophy, in Antiquity, was, for everyone, to become a good person by living in accordance with to an ideal… And if we applied, as of today, this Stoic precept aimed at relativizing?

Blaise Pascal, in his Pansies, his posthumous work published in 1670, also encourages us to become aware of the need for man to put his position into perspective, facing the vast expanses offered by the universe … “May man therefore contemplate the whole of nature in his high and full majesty, may he distance his sight from the low objects which surround him. May he look at this bright light, set like an eternal lamp to illuminate the universe, may the earth appear to him as a point at the price of the vast tower that this star describes“, He writes, as well.

Aware of the infinites, that of the infinitely large and that of the infinitely small, Man, “having come back to oneself“, Will be able to position itself to its proper extent and consider”what it is at the cost of what is“. And then he can “to look at oneself as lost in this canton diverted from nature“; and, Pascal insists: that “from this little dungeon where he is housed, I hear the universe, he learns to estimate the earth, the kingdoms, the cities and himself his fair price«. 

Indeed, let’s put it into perspective, Pascal tells us in substance: “because after all, what is man in nature? A nothingness with regard to infinity, a whole with regard to nothingness, a medium between nothing and everything“… Faced with this imbalance, man is led to understand that there is so little! Moreover, Pascal uses on several occasions in his text the substantive “smallness“… So, faced with the humility of our human situation, immersed in the middle of an infinite universe, Pascal finally leads us to”contemplate“. And this, “until our imagination is lost“…

«Truth beyond the Pyrenees, error below. ” This is again a thought of Pascal, relatively well known: it means that what is a truth for a person or a people can be a mistake for others. Now, in fact, what is valid for one is not necessarily valid for the other.

Montaigne, too, in his trials, and in particular its text entitled Cannibals, relates a similar fact: he writes: “There is nothing barbaric and savage in this nation“. By the same token, he goes against the ethnocentrism of his contemporaries. In a word: it relativizes. And gradually leads us to integrate the idea according to which we cannot judge other societies according to what we know, that is to say our own society.

Persian Letters de Montesquieu is a third example: in fact, for everyone to learn to relativize, it is necessary to keep in mind that what seems to go without saying does not necessarily go without saying in another culture.

Several techniques, in psychology, can help us to achieve relativization, on a daily basis. Among them, the Vittoz method: invented by Doctor Roger Vittoz, it aims to restore cerebral balance through simple and practical exercises, which are integrated into everyday life. This doctor was a contemporary of the greatest analysts, but preferred to focus on the conscious: his therapy is therefore not analytical. It is aimed at the whole person, it is a psychosensory therapy. Its goal is to acquire a faculty to balance the unconscious brain and the conscious brain. This re-education, therefore, no longer acts on the idea but on the organ itself: the brain. We can then educate him to learn to distinguish the real gravity of things: in short, to relativize.

Other techniques exist. Transpersonal psychology is one of them: born at the very beginning of the 70s, it integrates into the discoveries of the three schools of classical psychology (CBT, psychoanalysis and humanist-essential therapies) the philosophical and practical data of the great spiritual traditions (religions and shamanism). ); it makes it possible to give a spiritual meaning to one’s existence, to readjust one’s psychic life, and therefore, helps to situate things in their proper measure: once again, to put into perspective.

Neurolinguistic programming can also be a useful tool: this set of communication and self-transformation techniques helps to set goals and achieve them. Finally, another interesting tool: visualization, a technique that aims to use the resources of the mind, imagination and intuition to improve one’s well-being, by imposing precise images on the mind. …

Are you looking to put into perspective an event that at first glance seems terrible to you? Whatever technique you use, keep in mind that nothing is overwhelming. It may be enough simply to visualize the event as being a staircase, and not as an impassable mountain, and to begin to climb the ladder one by one …