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This happens to every woman from time to time: in the morning we stand in front of an open closet and do not understand what to wear. During the change of seasons of the year, the state of “nothing to wear” is especially aggravated. Style and mindful shopping specialist Natalya Kazakova identifies seven reasons for this recurring situation and tells how to deal with them.
1. «Clothes stutter»
Having carefully studied your own wardrobe, you can often understand that most of the things in it are similar to each other, only small details change. As a rule, when I am invited to analyze the wardrobe, in the client’s closet I find 5-6 pairs of black trousers, 3-6 pairs of jeans that look like two drops of water similar to each other, or an endless string of dresses of the same style.
Let’s imagine that each thing is a specific word that describes you. For example, jeans are “relaxed”, black trousers are “restrained”, a skirt is “feminine”, a sweater is “cozy”. At the same time, each type of product, its color and style will have its own word. When you have nothing to wear in the morning, your wardrobe seems to lack the right words to express your emotional state. Or, in the language of clothing, the right colors, styles, details.
And the key reason is clothing stuttering. There are many things, but there is no variety in color or style. And it turns out that each image is a broken record. “Nothing to wear” means that your clothes are not able to express the emotional state that you are currently experiencing. Life becomes monotonous: we see only one side of ourselves, rejecting other manifestations. And the technical reason is the lack of stylistic knowledge and time for experiments in the store.
2. Lifestyle and wardrobe imbalance
A vivid example of such an imbalance can be found in the wardrobe of a woman who worked in an office, and then went on maternity leave and is still not aware of the change in her life roles. 60% of her wardrobe still consists of office items, 5-10% of home items, 30% of just comfortable ones, bought by chance, hastily. And this despite the fact that this woman spends 60% of her time at home, 30% on walks with a child, and only 10% of the time is chosen for events and meetings without a child.
The situations may be different, but the essence is the same: the way of life is radically different from the capabilities of the wardrobe. Most likely, in this case, a person cannot accept his real life and lives in another, “desired” world. The discrepancy between “want” and “eat” once again leads to a crisis in the wardrobe.
3. Lack of goals
Lack of goals in life leads to an abundance of impulsive purchases. It’s all about the lack of focus on a specific goal. Instead of getting the perfect picture, when one thing in the wardrobe complements the other, and together they form holistic images, there is complete chaos.
4. Limiting beliefs of poverty
Many of us grew up in times of total scarcity, and in most families it was customary to save on everything. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers thought more about how to feed their children than how to dress them. They wore clothes to holes, altered and wore on. And they also conveyed instructions that things should be protected and in no case thrown away.
As a result, for many women, throwing away a thing is, on an unconscious level, tantamount to betraying traditions, rules or norms passed down from generation to generation.
5. Emotional «anchors»
“I bought this skirt when I went to Prague as a student, I can’t throw it away!” exclaimed one of my clients during the analysis of the wardrobe. Despite the fact that the skirt has long lost its appearance. Each thing in the process of its use accumulates emotions and memories. Then this mountain of memories lies dead weight in the cabinets, blocking access to new possibilities and combinations.
6. Secondary benefit
The chronic situation of «nothing to wear» always carries a secondary benefit. One of my students, in the process of analyzing clothing-related beliefs, realized that it is beneficial for her to complain about the lack of things and, as a result, to dress inappropriately, because then she feels entitled to ask her parents and husband to help her with children or household duties.
If she dresses well and, as a result, is in high spirits, she will not be able to arouse pity, and she will be denied support. In her picture of the world, if a woman is beautiful, well-groomed and does not complain about anything, she does not need support and must cope with everything herself. And this belief manifests itself in the wardrobe.
7. Confusion and vacillation
Some of us tend to grab onto different things and not bring anything to the end. Most likely, in our wardrobe in this case it will be possible to find things that do not match with anything. The same can be said about emotional people and those who are under stress. In shopping, they are looking for an opportunity to get a dose of pleasure. True, this ends with even more stress, because the money is again spent, but there is no result.
Six steps towards you
How to say goodbye to this situation once and for all? It is worth taking the following steps.
- Make a decision to close the “nothing to wear” question, while approaching it consciously. Realize that in fact you are putting in order not only the wardrobe, but also the emotions and thoughts. Allow yourself to let go of the past and let in new possibilities.
- Think and write down how much time during the month you spend on work (especially on important meetings with customers), rest, meeting friends, walking with children, dates. Determine the approximate proportion. Based on it, it is worth forming a wardrobe.
- Write goals for six months to a year. When clarity comes, you will be able to understand what things will help you achieve your goals, and what will move you away from them. It’s all about how we feel in this or that clothing or image. The more precise the goals, the easier it will be to determine what things are needed for the right effect.
- Organize your wardrobe. Take time to try things on. Take back the emotional anchor that was left on them, let go of each thing, leaving the emotion for yourself. This will help unload your wardrobe from clothes that are actually outdated for a long time, but kept you psychologically. If you have a lot of things, you can complete the task in several visits, sorting out one category at a time — for example, skirts. When parsing, you need to take into account both the stylistic and emotional characteristics of the thing.
- Take pictures of all the things you want to leave. Make sets of them, each time asking yourself if this set will put you in a state that will help you reach your goal. Answer not with your mind, but with your body. If the outfit you’re wearing makes you relax and smile, then you hit the bull’s-eye.
- Make a list of necessary purchases so that you can go shopping with it efficiently, calmly and consciously.
The wardrobe reflects our condition more than anything else. A conscious and structured approach to your wardrobe, coupled with an inner attitude to solve the situation once and for all in the future, will give you peace of mind, pleasure and time savings. It will also give you confidence and give you the opportunity to show different facets of your personality and move towards your goals.