New school: how to join the team

Dissimilarity to the rest is a common reason for the rejection of a person in a team. The «white crow», which cannot or does not want to be like everyone else, often causes rejection among others.

The reason can be anything. Another nationality, a handicap due to illness, a speech impediment or a dissonant last name, an unusual appearance — even if it’s just a strange hairstyle. Grades higher or lower than others in the class. Your family has more or less money than the rest.

Everything that strikingly distinguishes a child from the majority, draws him into the risk group: he is not like everyone else. Excessive guardianship from older family members can also be a reason for ridicule from classmates — do not forget about it.

Not everyone has the role of a “hermit” causing psychological discomfort. But what if the child is in dire need of friends and peer recognition, but fails to build relationships with classmates? What can parents do in this case?

How to understand that a child has become an outcast?

If the child fails to find a common language with new classmates, the first «bells» will not be long in coming. And an attentive parent will quickly realize that something is wrong in the life of a son or daughter. What you should pay attention to?

• The child rejoices at any opportunity not to go to school — for example, due to illness.
• He constantly comes up with reasons not to go to school, although he completed his homework on time. If this does not work, he goes to classes without desire.
• He does not tell anything about classmates, does not invite them to visit. Never participates in class activities.
• He always comes back from school in a bad mood.
• You regularly notice minor injuries in the child, damage to his clothes or school supplies.

The main principle is do no harm!

The natural desire of a loving parent is to protect the child from injustice and to repay all those who are guilty. And not only to offenders, but also to teachers who «it is not clear where they looked, how this was allowed, why they did not prevent it.» But try not to wave your saber in the heat of the moment.

Think about how such “showdowns” will turn out for the child? Most likely, the stigma of “snitch” will stick to him, which will be extremely difficult to get rid of. And life in a team will become even more difficult. How to respond correctly in order to solve the problem, and not drive it into a dead end?

The first thing to do is to contact the class teacher. Explain your position to him. He is a link and can resolve the conflict, help the parties agree on an acceptable resolution of the situation.

If this does not happen, the next authority is the principal of the school. In the presence of the class teacher, he will find out why the problem could not be solved and what else can be done. In the hands of the principal, maximum resources are concentrated to resolve any difficult situation at the school.

When a child is attacked, some parents immediately write a statement to the police. As a rule, such complaints do not give the desired results. Authorities can suppress the conflict, but not solve it — it just goes deeper. The appearance of a resolved conflict will appear, but in reality the situation will only become more complicated.

At this time, the child especially needs the support of adults. Try to increase his self-esteem. Do not skimp on praise even for small achievements. Show that you believe in him. Think about what he can successfully fulfill himself in — sports, creativity, study? Give him that opportunity. The admiration of others will restore his faith in himself.

If you feel that your efforts are not enough, seek the help of a child psychologist.

Rules of communication

Any problem is easier to prevent than to solve later. How to improve relations in a new class and avoid rejection of the team? A few simple rules will help.

By personal example, instill in your son or daughter important qualities: sociability, friendliness and responsiveness.

Encourage interaction with classmates outside of school. Let the child stay with them after school, participate in joint activities. Find out in advance what the children in the class are interested in and come up with an excuse to invite them to your house.

Together with your child, participate in school activities, preparation for the holidays, congratulations to teachers. You will personally get to know the children in the class and have the opportunity to discuss school events with your child.

Make sure that he himself is active in building relationships, does not stand aside. Let him come up to his classmates, ask him to take him into the game.

Children do not like «know-how». It may not be worth it to come to school in very expensive clothes that are not affordable for the families of other children.

If the level of knowledge of the child is noticeably higher, let him help his classmates cope with a difficult task.

You need to develop and improve all your life. Be interested in people and events around you. Live brightly and richly. Be interesting to yourself. An active, comprehensively developed and positive person easily takes root in a new team. Be an example for your children.