Demanding in a love curve
A person in crooked love expects a lot from the “object of adoration” and demands little from himself.
Demanding in right love
A man in right love makes demands first to yourselfand not to a loved one.
I have obligations only towards myself. How I behave, how I love you, how I do something towards you… That’s all. I have obligations to myself, but not demands on you.
How does the beloved behave, does she do everything that I consider obligatory for myself to do? I will not think about it, I will consciously withdraw myself from the assessments of the one I love. Will the beloved behave 100%, 80% or 30% — I don’t look at it. The task of the beloved is simply to BE. It is enough for me to know that it simply IS.
I know that you love me exactly as much as you can do it. I know, I see that you want it, that you are looking for it. And then — questions of health, condition, mood, fatigue, etc. My task is to help you. But I can’t evaluate and rate you. This is fundamentally wrong, and I do not ask myself such questions.
There is only one assessment and exactingness: the beloved must not cross a certain lower bound.
If a loved one starts drinking, rowdy or foul language, then this is simply not my favorite. The beloved has one task — to remain herself, the one that I already know and love. Do not change yourself, do not fall below a certain level. It is necessary. But that’s all. See →
What love grows from what
What kind of love — it largely depends on what underlies it: physiology or social stereotypes, feelings or mind, a healthy and rich soul — or lonely and sick … Choice-based love is usually correct and often healthy, although with a crooked head it is possible and martyr options.
Right love is in caring for who lives, not in tears for who is gone and who is lost. A person in right love makes demands first of all on himself, and not on his beloved.
Love-I want usually grows out of sexual attraction. Sick love almost always grows out of neurotic attachment, love is suffering, sometimes covered with a romantic touch.
The love of each of us is a reflection of our personality, and our common to people and life, the development of our positions of perception largely determines the type and nature of our love. See →