Increasingly, you notice that life is like running in circles: work for wear and tear — restoration of strength in order to squeeze yourself out again without a trace? It’s time to look at your life in a new way: exhale, prioritize and start acting in the chosen direction.
Life hygiene is extremely important, but few people think about it. Many of us live life to the fullest. We spend a lot of energy trying to get through the tasks of this day, and we want to spend the rest of the time on recovery, rest, activities that will bring pleasure and joy here and now.
Modern people are hostages of such a scheme. We are divided into two types: those who, in spite of everything, find enough motivation in themselves to at least from time to time adjust to the long term and correct the course of the ship, and those who do this only when unpleasant circumstances force them to do so.
Being the blacksmith of your own happiness is the approach of a wise and mature person who is ready to realize his own responsibility for what is happening in life.
TO START — REBOOT
Where to begin? From silence.
In my life there were two completely opposite situations in terms of energy, which were resolved in the same way.
A few years ago, I noticed that a feeling of boredom began to appear more and more often. In life, stagnation has come, the colors have disappeared. Slowly, everything around turned into a swamp, dragged on by the duckweed of daily routine. And even vacation trips happened as if not with me.
I set aside four days in my schedule, booked a room in a country hotel and went there all alone. She came back a completely different person.
It is important to take yourself out of the brackets of what is happening
A couple of years later, my life threatened to turn into an avalanche that swept away everything in its path. New projects, partnerships, plans multiplied every day, like a population of healthy and vigorous rabbits. I couldn’t remember the last time I read fiction or just chatted with a friend for fun, not business.
I again allocated four days in the schedule and went to clean up my life. And it worked again.
Those who cannot leave should contact a psychologist or coach. It is important to take yourself out of the brackets of what is happening: either by changing the situation, or by contacting a specialist who can look at the situation from the outside.
WE PARSE LIFE BY THE SHELVES
Being alone with yourself, it is important to understand:
1. What is life like now?
2. What do you not like, what would you like to change?
3. Where would you like to go? For what purposes?
Working with clients to get their lives in order, I help them take off their rose-colored glasses, get rid of the filters that make them see everything in a black light. Together we fight illusions and fears. It is difficult to remain impartial on your own, however, by rounding and generalizing, you can still see the full picture.
Our life can be divided into three huge, equally important areas:
1. Self-realization (how we influence this world, what we bring into it).
2. Relationships with other people (both close and distant).
3. Psychology and soul (individual processes, tasks, hobbies, religion, health, creativity).
Ideally, all three areas should be developed equally. Imagine that energy flows from one to another: my work is incredibly creative, doing it, I grow spiritually, improve relationships with loved ones. My family supports me in this development, enjoying all the bonuses that my self-realization brings.
However, this is not always the case.
What is? What do you need to get rid of? What would you like to bring?
It is extremely important to decompose life into these three areas and describe those processes that exist, those that you want to get rid of, and those that you want to bring in.
Here is a real, albeit greatly reduced list of one of my clients.
Self-realization
Work from 9 to 18, very tense relations with colleagues. However, the salary is high, and it is unlikely that I will earn the same somewhere. I like some of my duties. It’s hard for me at meetings, but I like to understand legal issues.
Relationships with other people
My son is the main source of joy in life. Relations with her husband are good, although they have become boring. Communication with her husband’s relatives is a test every time. My family is loving people who sometimes bring unpleasant surprises.
Psychology and soul
I feel insecure. I’m always scared that I’ll do something wrong and my colleagues will see it. I feel like a bad mom, I don’t spend enough time with my son. I don’t feel like a beautiful woman, I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I get headaches often.
WE WORK ON THE CHOSEN SPHERE
The situation is not pleasant. It can be seen that the personal sphere is the most disadvantaged. The main thing for my client is to regain her confidence, and many of the neighboring areas will straighten out.
Starting with the weakest sphere is just one method. Many, on the contrary, find the most resourceful field and cultivate it exclusively, being surprised to find out some time later that the rest of the areas have straightened out.
After we have decomposed what we have now into spheres, we have decided on a strategy (pull up the weakest sphere or develop the strongest one), it’s time to move on to tactics and outline the stages.
If it seems that knowledge is not enough, you can always connect a specialist. It is obvious that you need to get a divorce, but it is not clear what to do with the division of property and children? Seek legal advice. This knowledge is the missing link in order to see the real picture. When everything became clear, then it was a matter of time… Time, our most valuable resource, which we have no right to spend on misfortune.
Correcting the course of the ship for weather conditions is a necessity
After the strategy and tactics are clear, it’s time for the main thing. Write in each category a word or phrase that would define the mood, the state you want to reach in this area. For example: «psychology and soul» — «integrity», «self-realization» — «strength» (or, conversely, «smoothness»).
These concepts and moods determine our states of happiness. We find our own tonality for each sphere and, having formulated it in one word-mission, we subordinate all processes to a single rhythm. As a result, we get a sense of integrity, and not a collection of disparate processes.
Don’t be discouraged if, after enlisting a plan, you suddenly find that something has gone wrong. Life makes adjustments, and it is a necessity to correct the course of the ship for weather conditions. Having a clear understanding of the desired, “mission” in each area in your head will help you maintain the chosen direction.