Contents
First, let’s figure out why this is happening at all? Why does a child suck his thumb? Indeed, in fact, this is a fairly common occurrence, not only in families with kids, but also where there are preschoolers. At what age is thumb sucking normal?
“At the age of 2-3 months, the child finds his hands and immediately puts them in his mouth for examination,” says етский ихолог Ksenia Nesyutina. – This is absolutely normal, and if parents, worried that the child will suck their fingers in the future, do not allow sucking and put a pacifier in their mouth, then this harms the development of the child. After all, in order to start using your hands, in order to develop motor skills, you must first find and examine your hands with your mouth.
Well, if the baby has grown up, but the habit remains, you need to figure it out. There are many reasons for thumb sucking.
– At about 1 year of age, thumb sucking may indicate an unsatisfied sucking reflex. As a rule, at this time, children are actively transitioned from breastfeeding or formula to regular food. Not all children easily adapt to this and sometimes begin to express lack by sucking their fingers, explains Ksenia Nesyutina. “At the age of 2 years, thumb sucking is usually a sign that something is bothering the child. Often these anxieties are associated with separation from the mother: the mother goes to her room for the night and the child, experiencing this, begins to calm himself by sucking his finger. But there may be other more complex anxieties. In the future, this may transform into the fact that the child will bite his nails, pick at wounds on the skin or pull out his hair.
Thus, we understand: if the baby is just beginning to get acquainted with his body and the world around him, then let him calmly suck his fingers. Nothing will fade. But if time passes, the little person grows up and has been going to the garden for a long time, and the fingers are still “hiding” in the mouth, measures must be taken.
But weaning a child to suck his thumb is not an easy task.
Find a moment
It turns out that “finger in the mouth” is not just a habit. According to our expert, thumb sucking can be psychologically an established compensatory mechanism.
“In other words, thumb sucking gives the child (compensates) something that he cannot get emotionally,” says Ksenia Nesyutina. – For example, we are talking about an anxious mother – it is difficult for her to calm the child, give him support and confidence. In order to somehow calm himself, the child does not use “mom’s calmness”, but sucks his thumb. That is, the child is already 3-4-5 years old, and he is still calming down like a baby of 3-4 months – with the help of sucking.
To wean a child, you need to find the root cause. That is, to understand why the child puts his hands in his mouth, what he replaces in this way and how he can provide this need on an emotional level.
– It is important to pay attention at what moments the child puts his fingers in his mouth: for example, before going to bed, when he plays toys himself, in the kindergarten. Most likely, these are stressful moments for the child. It is important to help the child adapt to this activity so that it does not cause so much anxiety in the baby, the psychologist recommends.
Through the game
It’s probably not a secret for you that playing for children is not only an option to spend time, but also a way to get to know the world around them, help in development, and sometimes even therapy.
The game can help the child cope with anxiety.
“If a child is older than 3 years old, then from the point of view of psychology, it is possible to wean a child if he leaves the very need to suck his thumb,” notes Ksenia Nesyutina. – That is, the child is anxious, and compensates for the anxiety by sucking his thumb. And here parents should be included: you can help to cope with anxieties, fears with the help of games, conversations, lullabies, reading fairy tales. It is much better if the child plays with toys or draws what he is afraid of, what he is worried about than just compensating for this tension by sucking his thumb.
Forbid: yes or no
However, you must admit that it is very unpleasant to watch how a grown child slobbers his finger again. The parent is an adult, he understands that this is wrong, but not everyone knows how to respond competently. And what begins? “Remove your finger from your mouth!”, “So that I don’t see this”, “It’s impossible!” and everything like that.
But, firstly, this technique does not always work. And secondly, it can be fraught with consequences.
“A direct ban on thumb sucking or other drastic measures, such as sprinkling fingers with pepper, lead to even more negative consequences,” emphasizes psychologist Nesyutina. – If earlier the child could not cope with psychological stress and compensated for it by sucking his thumb, now he cannot even do this. And what’s going on? The tension goes inside, into the body and can subsequently manifest itself in even more “strange” behavior or even diseases.
Therefore, you should not solve the problem with a “whip” – it is better to re-read the previous two points again.
No stress – no problems
And there is such a story: everything seems to be fine, there are no bad habits for the child, but suddenly – once! – and the child begins to suck his fingers. And the child, by the way, is already four years old!
Don’t panic.
– In moments of stress, even a child of 3-4 years old or even a preschooler can start sucking his fingers. You can pay attention to this, but, as a rule, as soon as the stress is compensated, the habit disappears by itself, says our expert.
But stress can be different, and if you understand the reason (for example, the whole family moved to a new place or the grandmother scolded the child), then this can be said, consoled, reassured. And if thumb sucking occurs, it would seem, for no apparent reason, then it will not prevent the parent from “pricking up his ears” and trying to understand, ask the child what is bothering him or who scared him.
Pay Attention to… Yourself
No matter how blasphemous it may sound, it happens that the reason for the anxiety of the baby lies in his … parents. Yes, it’s hard to admit it to yourself, but it happens that it is the mother who creates the stressful situation.
– Among other things, it is often useful if the parent himself turns to a psychotherapist. This helps to remove the emotional stress from the parent, which anxious mothers tend to broadcast to their children, says Ksenia Nesyutina.