“As a rule, a mother has to say the first“ no ”when the child is six months old,” says Elena. – This is exactly the age when the baby’s teeth are teething, and he begins to bite his chest. To endure it stoically is a big mistake! In the same way, one should not endure when, in the first inept attempts to caress mom and dad, the child painfully hits the parents on the cheeks, not understanding how strong the touch should be. “
What to do? Remember that the reason for biting is not malice and malicious intent, but the first teeth. There are several responses to a bite. The most common is when a mother, from a sharp pain and surprise, almost involuntarily slaps the baby on the buttocks. Many psychologists – the Serz couple, for example – believe that there is nothing more harmless for a child than a sincere parental slap, if it is not systematic. And although some children understand everything from the first (involuntary) slap and stop biting, this is not the best way to cope with the problem. There are also babies who get scared and cry inconsolably, not understanding why they were in pain. And they bite again.
It is better to remove the breast from the baby’s mouth and say in a strict tone: “You cannot bite!” The child will understand that if he continues in the same spirit, he will lose the most important and tasty.
So it is with the spanking of feelings on the face of the mother. It is worth showing the baby exactly how to stroke and say this word out loud. If you are consistent, he will understand, and this skill, how to cuddle properly, will be very useful to him in the big sandbox world. “
“The boundaries that we set for the child with the help of“ no ”should, first of all, protect the child from himself. Indeed, at an early age, children are characterized by great research activity and little life experience. And this is a dangerous combination.
Boundaries are assimilated from the outside to the inside: what was at first an external prohibition for the baby, eventually becomes an internal prohibition. And gradually the child learns to say “no” to himself. And he also learns to ask “can I?”
One golden rule is important: you can only prohibit and punish with a calm heart. “No” is a word that is used for education, and not for the purpose of clarifying the relationship.
If parents show violent emotions, then the child perceives them at his own expense. For a kid, it looks like this: Mom says evil, which means she doesn’t love me. Mom speaks cheerfully, which means she’s just playing with me.
There are a few more rules on how to say no to your child.
Firstly, this word should not sound too often, otherwise it will depreciate and lose its meaning. To do this, it is useful to think carefully about the home “security system”: where are the objects, whether everything dangerous is hidden from the child.
Secondly, if you once said “no” to a child on a specific occasion, “yes” can no longer be. Consistency and again consistency – even if at some point it’s easier for you to allow than to insist on your ban.
Third, don’t expect instant results. The forbidden always becomes more desirable. Any normal person perceives the restriction of freedom painfully. And the kid will resist. And when he begins to follow the prohibition, this is where you really try your best: encourage him, support him and do not be afraid to over praise.
By the way, by limiting the child in something, you will have to limit yourself in some way. For example, if you do not want to give your baby a lot of sweets, it would be dishonest to keep sweets and cakes for your beloved in a conspicuous place. “