How to overcome pain and what is revealed to a person in a state of despair? Religious figures and researchers believe that it is faith that helps to reconnect with the outside world, find the source of love for life and feel true joy.
“For me, as a believer, joy resonates with what is higher than me, which cannot be named or expressed,” says Orthodox priest and psychologist Pyotr Kolomeytsev. — Imagine a world, empty, cold, where we do not see the Creator. We can only look at creation and try to guess what it is. And suddenly I feel Him the way I can feel a loved one.
I understand that this vast world, the bottomless universe has a Source of all meanings, and I can communicate with Him
In psychology, there is the concept of «rapport»: it means an emotional connection that arises in a trusting contact with a person or group of people. This state of rapport, consonance with the universe, our communication — non-verbal, irrational — causes me an incredibly strong feeling of joy.
An Israeli religious scholar Ruth Kara-Ivanov, a specialist in Kabbalah, talks about a similar experience. “The very process of exploring the world, other people, sacred texts, God and myself is a source of joy and inspiration for me,” she admits. — The highest world is shrouded in mystery, as it is said in the book of The Zohar.
He is incomprehensible, and no one can truly understand Him. But when we agree to embark on the path of studying this mystery, knowing in advance that we will never know it, our soul is transformed and many things are revealed to us anew, as if for the first time, causing joy and excitement.
So, when we feel ourselves a part of a great and incomprehensible whole and enter into trusting contact with it, when we get to know the world and ourselves, love of life awakens in us.
And also — the belief that our successes and achievements are not limited to the earthly dimension.
“Prophet Muhammad said: “People, you must have a goal, an aspiration.” He repeated these words three times,” emphasizes Shamil Alyautdinov, Islamic theologian, imam-khatib of the Moscow Memorial Mosque. — Thanks to faith, my life is filled with specific goals and complex projects. Working on them, I experience joy and hope for happiness in eternity, because my worldly affairs pass as a result of my efforts into eternal life.
Unconditional power
To trust in God, but not in order to relax and be inactive, but on the contrary, in order to strengthen one’s strength and fulfill everything necessary — such an attitude towards life is typical for believers.
“God has his own plan on this earth,” Pyotr Kolomeytsev is convinced. “And when it suddenly turns out that, by painting flowers or playing the violin, I become a co-worker in this common plan of God, my strength is multiplied tenfold. And the gifts are revealed in their entirety.”
But does faith help overcome pain? This is a very important question, because all other questions about the meaning of life are connected with it. It was he who appeared in full to the Protestant pastor Litta Basset when her eldest son, 24-year-old Samuel, committed suicide.
“I met Christ when I was thirty years old,” she says, “but only after Samuel’s death did I feel that this connection is eternal. I repeated the name Jesus like a mantra, and it was for me a source of joy that never dies.”
The divine presence and the love of those around her helped her survive the tragedy.
“Pain gives a sense of belonging to the suffering of God,” explains Pyotr Kolomeytsev. — Experiencing humiliation, pain, rejection, a person feels that he is not accepted by the evil of this world, and this feeling is paradoxically experienced as bliss. I know cases when, in a state of despair, something is revealed to a person that gives him courage and readiness to endure even greater suffering.
It is hardly possible to imagine this “something” or describe it in words, but for believers, there is undoubtedly access to powerful inner resources. “I try to take every painful event as a lesson that I need to learn, no matter how cruel it may be,” says Ruth Kara-Ivanov. It is, of course, easier to talk about it than to live like this. But faith in meeting “face to face” with the divine helps me find light in the darkest circumstances.”
Love for others
The word «religion» means «reconnection». And it is not only about divine powers, but also about connecting with other people. “Do for others as you do for yourself, and then it will be better for everyone — this principle is in all religions,” reminds the Zen master Boris Orion. — The less ethically disapproved actions we perform in relation to other people, the less waves in the form of our strong emotions, passions, destructive feelings.
And when the water of our emotions settles little by little, it becomes calm and transparent. In the same way, all kinds of joys are created and purified. The love of life is inseparable from the life of love.»
Forgetting yourself to love others more is the message of many teachings.
For example, Christianity says that man was created in the image and likeness of God, so everyone must be respected and loved as the image of God. “In Orthodoxy, spiritual joy comes from meeting another person,” reflects Pyotr Kolomeytsev. — All our akathists begin with the word «rejoice», and this is a form of greeting.
Pleasure can be autonomous, hidden behind strong doors or under a blanket, secret from everyone. But pleasure is the corpse of joy. And living, genuine joy occurs precisely in communication, in harmony with someone. The ability to take and give. In readiness to accept another person in his otherness and his beauty.
Thanksgiving every day
Modern culture is aimed at possession: the acquisition of goods is seen as a necessary prerequisite for joy, and the absence of what is desired as a reason for sadness. But another approach is possible, and Shamil Alyautdinov speaks about this. “It is extremely important for me not to miss the feeling of joy from the soul, even if boredom and despondency rumble at the door with incredible force,” he admits. — Trying to maintain a joyful mood, I express my gratitude to God in this way.
To be grateful to Him means to notice every day in oneself, in others and in everything that is around, good, beautiful. It means to thank people for any reason, to correctly realize their countless opportunities and generously share the fruits of their labors with others.
Gratitude is recognized as a value in all religions — be it Christianity with its sacrament of the Eucharist, «thanksgiving», Judaism or Buddhism
As well as the art of changing what we can change, and calmly face the inevitable. Accept your losses as part of life and, like a child, never cease to be surprised at every moment of it.
“And if we live here and now, as the way of Tao teaches us,” says Boris Orion, “one can realize that joy and love are already within us and we do not need to make efforts to achieve them.”