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Blended families: going on vacation
Tame yourself first!
Do not go all together unless you have had time to familiarize yourself with his children and he with yours. It would be best to leave a day or two before the holidays. This kind of reciprocal taming between stepfather or stepmother and stepchildren must be done gently, by episodes, and not all at once by living together for a week.
Consider a variable geometry family
Do you have three weeks off? Plan a romantic week, a week alone with your own children (a reunion necessary, especially for the parent who does not have regular custody of the children), and a week all together: this is more than enough. Do not give in to the illusory dream of immediately forming a united tribe.
If it is, your son will come back happy to have discovered rock climbing with the new man in your life, as long as the latter does not try to “replace” his father. Ditto for the mother-in-law with her daughter-in-law. You can help her make clothes for her doll, for example.
Choose a vacation spot near a train station or airport
Between your vacation dates, those of your respective exes, any internships and summer camps in which your children participate, being close to transport for possible return trips can considerably improve your vacation.
Avoid being dependent on each other
Barge, speedboat, trailer or campsite: this style of vacation requires adults and children who have neither the same tastes nor the same desires to live and move together while living on top of each other. Promiscuity inevitably causes clashes. But every problem has its solution. For example, for camping, plan independent tents for greater autonomy for everyone and to avoid conflicts.
Allow yourself moments of relaxation
Does your holiday resort have a baby club or a mini club? Take the opportunity to breathe with your spouse for a few hours. You can also choose the holiday village formula: each child can find the club that corresponds to his age, the activity that suits his tastes and everyone lives independently. The reunion at the time of the aperitif or the meal will be all the better.
Organize big meetings together
Once or twice, during the holidays, to break the routine, offer a picnic in a pretty site or a day in an amusement park, just to build memories and, above all, to test the waters to see how everyone finds their place within the group.
Don’t forget the “signing session”
Have them write your ex (father or mother) a little card or a drawing, just to show your goodwill and to avoid the soup with grimaces and sarcastic remarks when you get back.