Four steps that bring us closer to a partner

When a close, trusting relationship is connected with a loved one, one does not want to think that everything can change. This is the time to remember the saying: the best defense is an attack, which means you should try to prevent possible problems in advance. And although there is no guarantee that the relationship will never be overshadowed by quarrels and misunderstandings, a few steps will help make your union stronger. Then, even when faced with difficulties, you will be ready to communicate and support each other.

New shared experience

Boredom and complacency are real time bombs that undermine the alliance. “A lot of how we get promoted at work is to keep our passion alive, just as we need an occasional adrenaline rush in our personal relationships,” says coach Kali Roger. – If you have been living on a schedule that does not imply anything new and is simply convenient for both of you, try to change it.

Just not at the expense of violent quarrels and joyful reconciliations: this scenario, which some couples practice, runs the risk of one day not ending happily. Come up with new activities or trips that will be interesting for you and your partner, make the weekend more eventful.

It often seems that if we are comfortable being silent with each other, this is an indicator of a healthy relationship. However, it is important not only not to experience discomfort from silence, but also to jointly acquire the experience that will forever remain in memory.

The question “How was your day?”

It may seem to you that you will understand without words if something has happened to your partner and he needs your help. It is not always so. It’s worth starting a tradition of asking how their day went — it allows us to better feel the emotional presence of the other in our lives. “It is important to develop the ability to always remain an active and attentive listener,” says family therapist Janet Zinn. – In many ways, this is a guarantee that you will be able to overcome the conflict period in a relationship.

The ability to listen, on the one hand, will help you better understand what drives your partner and find common ground. On the other hand, your attentiveness will give him a signal that you are a priori on his side. He does not need to attack or defend – you are open and want to find a compromise.

Independence

Undoubtedly, common hobbies and friends are important, but at the same time it is necessary that you have your own space of interests. Some people think that this may be selfish in relation to a partner who may be inclined to devote most of his free time to you.

“However, even a short time apart recharges your emotional batteries and allows you to give each other much more,” says psychotherapist Anita Chlipala. – It is important to meet with your own, and not just with mutual friends. It helps to get distracted, get a boost of energy from loved ones, and also look at your union from the outside.

Flirtation

“Make sure that there is always an element of the game in the relationship and that your love life does not develop according to a scenario that has long been known to both,” advises coach Chris Armstrong. Break this script, ask your partner out on dates and never stop flirting with each other. Relationship play helps maintain sexual interest, which largely determines the usefulness and success of your union.

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