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First time to kindergarten: should parents be afraid?
If your child goes to kindergarten for the first time in September, you probably have a lot of worries about this. How to stop worrying (even if not completely, but at least a little) and begin to properly prepare for a new period in your life? With these questions, Woman’s Day turned to a psychologist.
In the life of parents, sooner or later the moment comes when the baby has to be sent to kindergarten. At the very thought of this, most moms start to panic. What if they hurt the blood? What if they teach you something wrong? And if some virus picks up? So one can argue who is more difficult to endure separation – the child or his parent. Psychologist Elena Shamova spoke about maternal fears and how to deal with them.
With breast milk, babies receive substances that act as a barrier and protect the tiny body from viruses and infections. Their own immunity begins to form in children only by the age of three. Of course, in a team, there are more chances to catch some ailment than sitting at home with your parents. If a child has weak immunity, then he can often get sick even without attending kindergarten, but simply playing in the sandbox. Even if you refuse to attend preschool, going to school still cannot be avoided.
In the kindergarten, during the adaptation period, children, although they often get sick, each time it happens in a milder form. It is worth noting that stress often becomes the cause of a child’s discomfort – the loss of continuous communication with parents provokes illness at the psychosomatic level. To make the adaptation as painless as possible, it is better to teach the baby to be independent even before going to kindergarten. How to overcome fear of illness? Accept and solve problems as they come.
According to the psychologist, this is the influence of the social environment, and not of the kindergarten. A kid can learn to be bad anywhere, even at home, because children instantly grasp something new, including bad ones.
If you notice things in the child’s behavior that are unacceptable to you, do not focus on this. Do not scold, correctly and calmly explain to him that this is not accepted in your family. Thus, you expand his horizons, because sooner or later he will still face it. More often, children whose parents are prone to overprotection are susceptible to bad influence. Adults constantly teach the child how to do, what to do … Getting into any social institution, such a child begins to copy someone’s behavior. There is nothing wrong with that, just parents should explain to the baby what is good and what is bad.
Often, parents worry that in kindergarten their treasure will be offended – by peers or a harsh teacher. And the reason for such thoughts, in the opinion of Elena Shamova, is again overprotective. In other words, if all the problems of the toddler are solved by the parents, depriving him of the opportunity to independently establish contact with others, then the baby simply will not know how to stand up for himself.
Protect yourself in a good way, and not throw your fists at everyone. If a child knows how to verbally defend himself, what to say to the abuser and how to behave in general, this is called the development of emotional intelligence. Simply put, he will appreciate the situation and either will not ask for trouble, or, on the contrary, will show himself.
If you suspect that your son or daughter is really being bullied in the garden, the psychologist advises you to draw the teacher’s attention to the problem. If the teacher is not to your liking, then the child on an emotional level will treat him the same way, and most likely it will not be possible to establish contact. So try to talk to your teacher in person.
Here it is up to the choice of the institution to which you send the baby. As a rule, our supervisory authorities closely monitor this issue. For your own reassurance, you can first read reviews about nutrition, talk with parents whose children are already attending preschool.
Will be left unattended and in trouble
Reflecting on this, the expert advises to return to the issues of Dosadik’s upbringing. If a child knows simple safety standards and boundaries – what is allowed, what is not, what is dangerous and what is not – then he will comply with the framework you have set within the walls of the kindergarten.
If the baby is not familiar with this and was under your care all the time, then there is a possibility that the child will experience difficulties in a new situation for himself. However, do not forget that kindergartens have their own rules and regulations, the observance of which is carefully monitored by the teacher. The psychologist claims that in a team, the baby is much faster aware of the framework of what is permissible and the boundaries of the safe.
As a rule, children begin to miss and cry in inaction. In kindergarten, the daily routine is scheduled literally by the minute. And the staff takes care that all the kids are in business, otherwise the young offenders will start to misbehave, and this is definitely not in the interests of the teacher.
If you tell your child what awaits him in the garden, what he will do, what he will learn new, whom he will see, then his primary level of anxiety will decrease. Even if the baby remembers about her mother and cries, the teacher will quickly switch his attention to something else, talk and calm the baby.
Will be punished for non-compliance with the regime
If there is tension at home with discipline, then, obviously, at first it will not be easy for a child to start living on a schedule. Sleep by the hour is not about him? It is unlikely that they are punished for being awake during the quiet hour now. The psychologist assures that soon your treasure will switch to the desired mode, and, along with everyone, will follow the daily routine.
Severe punishments and stories about harsh educators are parental conjectures and fears, and also a protest before changes in life. Such parents are internally not ready to let go of the baby and try to find a reason to avoid going to kindergarten.