In any situation, there are two options for how you can act:
- Based on the question «Why?»
- Based on the question «Why?»
These two options are fundamentally different.
The question «Why?» You are a product of what is happening around you.
- Why is the mood bad? — because they got it!
- Why is the mood good? — because they made you happy.
- Why are you friends with a person? Because he is good and helped me.
The question «Why?» — your condition and your decisions are chosen by you and work for your goals.
- Why is the mood good? – in order to live happier and work easier.
- Why are you friends with him? — in order to learn a lot from each other, he has something to learn.
- Why are you working in a workshop? — then, to become better, so that my life and the life of my loved ones would be easier and more joyful.
In any situation, you are guided by one of these questions. The task of the exercise is to focus only on the question “Why?” As practice shows, this requires more determination and gives much better results — you really get what you want.
Exercise
You have two ways to do this exercise, it will be useful to practice both.
The first method
As soon as you understand that something does not suit you, you are doing something wrong or wrong, immediately ask yourself questions:
- «Why am I doing this?» — if there is no answer to this question, stop doing it
- «Why am I doing it this way?» — if there is no answer to this question, figure out how to do it differently, so that there is an answer to the question
- “Why exactly am I doing this?” — think about who would be better off doing what you are doing
The main thing is to immediately ask a question, and as soon as you get an answer, change your behavior. Without the second paragraph, the exercise does not work, it turns into:
«Why am I upset now?» “Why not?” and shrugs.
There is little result. Why did you do half the exercise? I also don’t know…
«Why am I upset now?» “No reason, stop. What will be better now? Rejoice and feel enthusiastic — yeah, now I’ll figure out how to do just that!
The right option, such a person will really come up with and implement. He is respect!
second method
In a situation of choice, use the question «Why?» You were told an offensive word, your options
- Take offense. What for?
- Answer the same. What for?
- With a smile, skip past the ears. What for?
- Smile now, adjust the format later. What for?
Once you have evaluated all the options for action, choose the one that best answers the question «Why?» And bring it to life.
In the second option, a good alternative to the question why:
- «And what will happen if so?»
- “What will I get if I do this option?”
- “What problem am I going to do this for?”
You can pick up your variations, the main thing is that you choose a solution based on the results in the future, and not on the pictures in the past.
How to understand that the exercise has been worked out
First and foremost, in most situations, you can answer the question “Why am I doing this?” or “Why am I doing it this way?”
Indirect signs:
- You have significantly fewer complaints
- Your passive voice disappears from your speech: “I was upset”, “I had to”
- You talk and think more about the future than about the past