Deeply convinced of being loved, the erotomaniac goes further than the fan of a famous singer: his erotomania can lead him to reprehensible behavior. How to detect this disorder of sexuality? How to react as a victim of an erotomaniac? The keys to understanding erotomania, also known as Clérambault syndrome.

Erotomania is a real pathology of a psychiatric nature. This disorder of sexuality results in the deep conviction, wrongly, of being loved. The erotomaniac is often a woman. As for the person who is the object of one-sided love, it is generally a being whose social or professional functions are considered in the common mind as superior: a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer or even a public figure – politician in particular – or a celebrity – famous writer, fashionable singer …

More than a passing infatuation of a teenager for her favorite star, whose portrait she displays on the walls of her bedroom, erotomania is a real mental illness whose consequences – from which the erotomaniac but also the loved one suffers. – are not negligible.

The current state of psychiatry does not allow the causes of erotomania to be detected with certainty. This sexuality disorder, like many others, could nevertheless be explained by an emotional deprivation experienced during childhood – at least in part. 

A delusional illusion of being loved, erotomania follows a progression in several phases: hope, spite then resentment. In any case, an erotomaniac episode must be triggered.

The triggers of passionate delirium

The passionate delirium of the erotomaniac necessarily takes its origin in a word or a behavior on the initiative of the person object of unrequited love. This person, involuntarily, addresses the erotomaniac in such a way that the latter interprets the words or actions of his interlocutor as proof of a very intense love. It is therefore the victim who, in the mind of the erotomaniac, is at the origin of the illusory love story. Thus persuaded to be loved, the erotomaniac implements the means to perpetuate the link and make effective the fantasy love story, lasting and one-sided, which necessarily ends in a failure with more or less important consequences. .

The hope phase of the erotomania episode

For a long time, the erotomania pushes the person who suffers from it to multiply the attempts of amorous exchanges with the loved one. Sending letters, an insistent presence by his side in everyday life, acts of love, the erotomaniac multiplies the connections through behaviors that can quickly be assimilated to harassment. In the absence of return, the erotomaniac keeps hope and finds explanations: the victim prefers to remain discreet about his love, it is an erotic game that she sets up … But after a while, the time or the categorical manifestation of the loved one leads to spite, the second stage of the cycle of erotomania.

Grudge, a destructive feeling

Once the phase of spite has passed, during which the erotomaniac realizes that love is not shared, he feels a deep disappointment which leads him to resentment. He is angry with the other for making him believe he was in love and feels the need for revenge. His behavior can then turn out to be violent: physical attacks, threats or even material destruction. 

Erotomania is a risky sexual disorder for the person who is the object of obsessive love. Since erotomania is pathological, there is no point in trying to deal with it alone. The victim, on the contrary, must speak to the right people and surround himself with the right people.

At first, he can be resorted to justice, to protect himself against the violent outbursts of the erotomaniac. In a second step, it is possible to consider referring the erotomaniac to competent psychiatric health services. 

Erotomania is prejudicial to the person who is affected by it, on a personal level – depression following the phase of spite – and in terms of justice – removal measures against him or even imprisonment in the event of a serious attack on him. the loved one.

Under these conditions, it is urgent to undertake medical treatment: solutions based on psychotherapy or drug treatments exist to help erotomania.