Eight traits that testify to high emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a term that makes a sensation not only among enthusiasts of social psychology, but also people focused on personal development. What is emotional brilliance? What features indicate a high level of emotional intelligence? Is it possible to develop social acumen?

  1. Emotional intelligence is – in a nutshell – awareness of your own emotions and making them work in our favor
  2. Experts on the subject argue that emotional intelligence has an equally important impact on our lives as the so-called academic intelligence
  3. Does the level of emotional intelligence affect professional and personal success? There are many studies that answer this question
  4. Can you increase your own emotional intelligence by exercising properly?
  5. More current information can be found on the Onet homepage.

Emotional Intelligence – Definition

The phenomenon of emotional intelligence (IE) is a relatively new concept. The term was first used in the 90s by Peter Salovey and Jack Mayer. The roots of the concept, however, can be traced back to the theory developed in the 20s social intelligence. This is a thesis that is somewhat of an early echo of what we understand today as emotional acumen. Although the wording specifying the individual’s ability to function properly in the public space is not synonymous with the discussed issue – it is sometimes considered its foundation.

What is emotional intelligence? Generally speaking, it is high knowledge of one’s own and other people’s emotions and the ability to accurately interpret feelings and use them for personal gain. It is a set of abilities that characterize an individual, which condition his proper functioning in society and in harmony with his own Ja. In other words: the higher the level of IE a person has, the more balanced their family and professional life will be.

  1. How do you know an intelligent person? Five signs of a high IQ

Models of emotional intelligence

Depending on the source, emotional intelligence is sometimes defined as a set of cognitive abilities or a set of personality traits. The dual understanding of the concept in question is closely related to the existence of different IE models. Academic and pop-culture schemas present several different interpretations of the phenomenon in question.

A scientific model called the capability model

The research paradigm proposed by Mayer and Salovey in 1990. According to this concept, emotional acumen is understood as a set of mental and cognitive skills of an individual. Researchers distinguished three basic skills that characterize people with a high level of emotional intelligence:

  1. perception, evaluation and proper expression of emotions,
  2. modulating one’s own emotions and the feelings of other people,
  3. using emotions in intro and interpersonal relationships.

Zobacz: Interpersonal communication – what is it and how to use it effectively?

The popular model is called mixed

Concepts brought to life by Goleman and Bare-On. As the name suggests, these are worldviews adapted to the framework of popular culture, widespread among the mass audience, not only in academia. According to the popular science schema, IE is a set of personality traits that define a given person, not so much as abilities. Bare-On suggested five characteristics of above-average emotional intelligence:

  1. high level of self-awareness and self-control,
  2. extensive interpersonal skills,
  3. adaptability,
  4. coping with stressful situations,  
  5. general well-being.

Check: Adaptation disorders – what they are, how to deal with them

Personality traits that indicate high emotional intelligence

Is there a way to verify the emotional message level? As in the case of IQ, several methods have been developed by which it is possible to determine the height of its emotional counterpart. One of them is Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire. However, before you start solving time-consuming tests, it is worth finding out what skills indicate above-average sensitivity. On the basis of the above-mentioned concepts, several personality traits can be distinguished, which are evidence of a highly developed emotional intelligence.

Positive self-perception

Sufficiently high self-esteem (not to be confused with exuberant ones Ego) is one of the determinants of a mentally healthy, strong personality. According to the results of the research conducted by Kali Trzesniewski from the University of California at Davis, people aware of their worth perform better on a professional basis and are more satisfied with their lives. This is proof that there is a real relationship between high IE and positive self-perception.

Constant development is needed

The high level of emotional intelligence is conditioned, inter alia, by the need for constant self-improvement. One of the more desirable skills is the willingness to learn new skills or the ability to overcome unhealthy habits. People working on their own development are aware of their emotions and are able to control them; weaknesses, on the other hand, turn into strengths.

See: Coaching – when is it recommended? Types and goals of coaching

Internal motivation

People with a high level of emotional intelligence are characterized by developed internal motivation. Being aware of their own feelings, individuals do not need external stimuli to act – they are stimulated by a strong psyche and development orientation. The reward for a self-driven person is not a reward in the form of a monthly payment or praise from the environment. Effective striving for perfection is an end in itself for her.

Ability to solve problems

Creative crisis management is another thing that proves high emotional intelligence. One of the determinants of success is skill in removing obstacles. Research initiated by Joseph Folkman and Jack Zenger seems to confirm this. The observations carried out by professional advisors show that the common feature of the team leaders recording the best results is the talent for removing complications.

The ability to be empathetic

Compassion is – to put it simply – the ability to accurately read other people’s emotions. To repeat after Goleman: the level of empathy depends on whether the person understands their own feelings. People of Fr. highly developed emotional intelligence are able to accurately decode non-verbal messages transmitted by interlocutors. They are good listeners, which translates into their popularity among friends and colleagues.

Assertiveness

An extremely difficult skill to manifest different views on a given topic in such a way as not to hurt the interlocutor’s feelings. The basic premise of an assertive attitude is expressing yourself and acting in line with your beliefs. Achieving the goal is of secondary importance. Speaking openly about your own needs requires deep self-awareness and correct reading of your own emotions. A respectful refusal is a complete acceptance of your own Yes.

Read more: Assertiveness – how to learn it? Exercises and assertiveness training

Ability to control emotions

Knowing that emotions are not an uncontrollable element of the personality is another sign of highly developed emotional intelligence. Controlling the feelings – which are purely behavioral stimuli – is a difficult task. However, it is not impossible. People familiar with their own psyche correctly interpret the impulses that direct them and are able to control them.

Resistance to stress

Stress is an inseparable element of human existence – it is impossible to avoid it. People with low emotional intelligence show a tendency to depressive behavior when confronted with a nervous situation. More self-aware individuals can adapt to unfavorable conditions. They are aware that mental endurance is not dictated only by genetic conditions. Proper training allows you to build an emotional shield that protects the mind from tension.

Also check: Depression – who does it affect and why? How to cure depression?

How to develop emotional intelligence?

Low emotional intelligence is often the result of influencing the individual unfavorable environmental factors. Faulty parenting models, in which the unskillful are guided by the child’s spiritual development, contribute to the impairment of his social acumen.

Fortunately, IE as a set of acquired characteristics can be improved by carrying out appropriate exercises. The Emotional Education Movement – This name is used to describe all kinds of courses and training that are designed to help develop emotional intelligence. While psychologists and sociologists are skeptical about most such initiatives, they admit that the general idea behind personality training is correct.

Properly conducted exercises can actually contribute to internal development. However, it cannot be expected that an increase in emotional intelligence will turn life into an idyll. Social media and all kinds of popular science editions labeled IE a universal remedy. Reading some of the generally available publications, one gets the impression that its high level is tantamount to achieving success both on a professional and personal basis.

Although research confirms the link between high awareness of one’s own feelings and overall success, the results are not as spectacular as it might seem. Given the state of the art, it seems safest to say that emotional intelligence has the most positive effect on achievement in various aspects of life, when it is one of the many useful abilities that a person can boast of.

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