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“Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” — the experience of divorce lawyers refutes the famous quote. They admit that most clients end up in their offices because of the same problems.
Lawyers who specialize in divorce cases are front-row spectators in a spectacle of broken relationships. Every day, clients tell them about the problems that led to the divorce. List of eight common complaints.
1. “Husband rarely helps with children”
It often turns out that one of the spouses is dissatisfied with the distribution of responsibilities in the family. This issue is especially acute in relation to children. It takes a lot of time and effort to take them to clubs, recreational activities, and doctor appointments. If one spouse feels that he is pulling everything on himself, resentment and indignation inevitably grow. If a couple came to a lawyer’s office, it means they’ve tried everything they can.
2. «We don’t discuss problems»
Often the problems of spouses lie not in what they say, what they are silent is more dangerous. A problem arises, but the partners do not want to “rock the boat”, they are silent, but the problem does not disappear. The couple suppresses the problem, but then another arises. It is even more difficult to deal with it, because the resentment is alive because of the previous problem, which was never solved.
Then they try to hush up and suppress the second problem. Then a third one appears, the ball gets even more tangled. At some point, patience ends. A conflict flares up over some stupid reason. Spouses begin to swear because of all the unspoken grievances and accumulated problems at once.
3. “There is no sex and intimacy between us”
Decreased emotional intimacy and decline in sex life are very popular complaints. Domestic problems destroy the relationship between spouses. Lack of sex is just the tip of the iceberg, more dangerous is the lack of communication and intimacy. Couples need to understand that relationship work doesn’t end when they say yes at the altar. Relationships need to be worked on every day. It’s important to keep in touch with your spouse on a daily basis, whether it’s during a meal together or walking the dog.
Clients complain that their spouses become addicted to social networks. But this is a symptom of a problem with a centuries-old history, we are talking about treason. The husband likes the post of the former lover, this develops into a sexual correspondence, then they move on to personal meetings. But a person prone to infidelity will find a way to change without social networks. Some couples manage to deal with infidelity, but most don’t.
5. «We live like neighbors»
Clients often admit that their spouse has become a stranger to them. He is not at all like the one with whom they swore to be in sorrow and in joy. The couple become roommates. They interact little with each other.
6. «My husband is selfish»
Selfishness manifests itself in many ways: stinginess in money, unwillingness to listen, emotional detachment, unwillingness to take on household and childcare responsibilities, ignoring the desires and needs of a partner.
7. “We express love in different ways”
Two people love each other but don’t feel loved. For one spouse, the manifestation of love is help around the house and gifts, for the other, pleasant words, gentle touches and joint leisure. As a result, one does not feel loved, and the other does not feel that his actions are appreciated.
This mismatch prevents them from overcoming difficulties. They start fighting over money or sex, but what they really lack is physical intimacy or leisure. Find out what love language is typical for you and your partner, this can avoid a visit to a lawyer.
8. «I’m not appreciated»
At the stage of courtship, partners listen carefully and please each other in every possible way. But once a marriage is sealed, many stop worrying about their partner’s happiness. Clients admit that they were unhappy for many years, they were waiting for changes, but their patience snapped.
People rarely get divorced because of a single event, like a one-time affair or a big fight. Couples invest a lot in marriage. There are many good reasons to decide on a divorce. If a person decides to end a marriage, it means that he realized that he would be happier or less unhappy without his partner.