Is the feeling of happiness our natural right or a reward for good deeds and hard work? Smile of Fortune or recompense for endured suffering? What is the merit of someone who is deeply satisfied with life, family, work and is happy with every new day? Did he go to his goal for years or was he just “born in a shirt”?
The ability to be happy is 50% dependent on innate characteristics: personality type, temperament, brain structure — these are the results of a number of studies. And this means that many of us from childhood feel happy / unhappy, no matter what happens to us.
“And yet, our actions — what activities we choose, what goals we strive for, how we communicate with people — influence the worldview much more than it seems,” says psychologist Tamara Gordeeva. — Our personality is not set, it is formed in the process of interaction with the world. You can say “I don’t have enough dopamines” and be sad about it. But if we start to act, the situation changes. First of all, what makes us happy is meaningful and creative activity, especially related to helping other people and directed — no matter how loud it sounds — to change the world for the better.
There are many behavioral strategies that help us feel more satisfied with life. These include practicing gratitude, using your strengths, and appreciating positive experiences. Of the more significant — the ability to maintain warm relationships based on respect and acceptance, and in communication to choose active and constructive ways of responding. It means to empathize and rejoice, to clarify, to ask questions, to be fully involved in the situation.
If your goals are more in the category of “being” than “having”, then happiness will approach
Another road to happiness leads through the ability to cooperate with the world, remaining calm, not panicking and not being afraid of difficulties. “The key principle is an interest in life, which distracts us from excessive worries and anxieties,” notes Tamara Gordeeva. “When we are self-centered and inattentive to others, we are more likely to feel miserable.”
It is easier for someone who is balanced, open, and benevolent by nature or due to family upbringing to follow these strategies. Others have to work on their worldview and relationships with others: consciously give up immoderate desires, start good habits, for example, remember in the evening three good events that happened during the day. And then life will bring more satisfaction.
Another question is how justified such a goal is to become happy. “The more we strive for happiness, the farther we go from it,” explains the psychologist. “It’s better to choose goals based on your values.” If your goals are more in the category of “being” than “having”, related to personal growth, the development of competencies or relationships with others, then happiness will come closer.