Sometimes it seems to us that we can achieve our goal only if we move towards it with all the excitement and pressure. This style is more inherent in men, says psychologist-acmeologist, female coach Ekaterina Smirnova. And we, women, have other, sometimes even more effective tools.
To achieve the set goals, purposefully move towards the intended goal, work systematically, be a tough leader — many women choose just such a strategy in business and life. But does it always benefit the woman herself?
“Once, even before I went into psychology, I worked in a network company, sold cosmetics and perfumes, and achieved results,” recalls acmeologist Ekaterina Smirnova. — My whole day was scheduled by the minute: in the morning I set goals for myself, and in the evening I summed up the results, each meeting was regulated and had to bring a specific result. After some time, I became the best salesperson in the group, then spoke to the 160 most productive women in the company and shared my experience.
But such a system took all my resources. It was very energy intensive. Yes, this is a great school, but at some point you realize that you have become a cog in a big machine. And they just squeeze you like a lemon. As a result, difficulties began in my family, I had health problems. And I said to myself, “Stop! Enough!» And changed tactics.
The power of female nature
Ekaterina admits that she acted according to the male algorithm. This was effective for the employer, but not for herself or her loved ones. She began to look for other mechanisms and tools to achieve goals that would bring satisfaction, give energy to her and her family, enrich her.
“We can achieve everything we want, but in a different way. I love to dream and make dreams come true like a woman. At such moments, I feel like a magician.
What does «feminine» mean? “This is when we learn to be a woman who lives not only in harmony with herself, but also in harmony and unity with the family,” explains Ekaterina. — Such a woman has faith in the power of the Universe, God, the Great Mother (each has something of her own). She has a connection with her feminine nature, she trusts a highly developed natural intuition and feels how to make dreams come true.
In her opinion, a woman knows how to switch, as if holding a remote control with buttons in her hands, choosing her own channel for each household member or colleague. Or he stands at a large stove and knows at what moment to add fire to one of his relatives, and to reduce to another. Such a wise woman accumulates energy, filling herself first of all, and then distributes internal resources to the right points and directions.
To achieve your goals, you no longer need to ride a dashing horse with a saber unsheathed or ride a bulldozer, sweeping away obstacles
Right now, the son needs attention, and now it’s better to feed the husband and put him to bed without asking too many questions, but go to a friend herself and chat from the heart. But tomorrow the husband will be rested and happy.
To distribute energy and inspire loved ones is the main mission of a woman, the coach is convinced. And she can do this effortlessly, intuitively forcing everything to revolve around her task and dream. Everything is solved by itself, for these tasks “the space is changing”, the right people are found who will become our teachers or help us fulfill our plans.
“When a woman does everything with love, she knows with her heart how best to act, how to fill her dream with her energy and warm people dear to her. To achieve your goals, you no longer need to ride a dashing horse with a sword drawn or ride a bulldozer, sweeping away obstacles on the way, as many women who are passionate about male strategies do.
Soft women’s instruments are like VIP mail, delivering the necessary information to the Universe quickly and reliably. A woman who has mastered this art simply knows and does. Like the fabulous Vasilisa, waving her sleeve. And this is not a metaphor, but real sensations that women, at least once in the flow, experienced.
Wise Woman’s Toolkit
One of these soft female instruments is called “Seven times three minutes”. The principle of his work is to go through seven stages from accepting a task to solving it. “Let’s say I have a dream: I want my family to move to another, more comfortable house. I tell my husband about it. What will be his first reaction? In 99% of cases we encounter resistance. “We feel good here too!”, Or “Now we can’t afford it!”, Or “Now it’s not up to that — I’ll finish the project …”.
An ordinary woman will be offended or will aggressively prove her case. A wise woman knows she has six more times of three minutes. She will be able to once again remind her of her dream, but in a different way.
The woman will achieve that by the seventh time the man will consider this idea not only interesting, but also his own.
The second time, she will delicately place a catalog of new houses in a conspicuous place, arguing aloud how light it is there and that her husband will finally have his own office, and each of the children has his own room. It is unlikely that at this stage the husband will agree, but she will wait for the third time. In a conversation with her mother or mother-in-law, she will share an idea. “Well … you need to think about it,” the husband will say.
And so gradually, over and over again, with the involvement of various resources, books, friends, trips to visit a big house, joint discussions, he will achieve that by the seventh time the man will consider this idea not only interesting, but also his own. «I’ve been talking about this for a long time, haven’t I, honey?» “Of course, dear, great idea!” And everyone is happy, because the decision was made with love.
“Each of us, like a cutter, polishes the edges of his diamond all his life. We are learning to be creative, integral, connected with our feminine gender and its power, in order to feel like real sorceresses who create beauty, warmth and love, ”says Ekaterina Smirnova. So maybe worth a try?