«Doctor, heal yourself»: how psychologists deal with stress

No one is immune from stress and its consequences. It can be more difficult for psychologists to keep a clear head than for their clients, because they are required to have empathy, emotional stability, and concentration at once.

“People think that any psychologist is a person with iron nerves or an enlightened sage who can regulate his mood at will. Believe me, sometimes it’s easier for me to help others than myself,” complains John Duffy, clinical psychologist and author of Parents in Access: An Optimistic View of Parenting Teens.

Can switch

“Before dealing with stress, you need to realize that you have it. And this is not always obvious. I try to listen to the signals of my body, says John Duffy. For example, my leg begins to tremble or my head splits.

To relieve stress, I write. I jot down thoughts for articles, keep a diary, or just take notes. For me, this is a very effective exercise. I go headlong into the creative process, and my head is cleared, and the tension recedes. After that, I can take a sober look at what is bothering me and figure out how to deal with it.

I feel the same after going to the gym or jogging. It’s an opportunity to switch.»

Listen to your feelings

Deborah Serani, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with Depression, tries to listen to her body and give it what it wants in time. “Sensations play a huge role for me: sounds, smells, temperature changes. My stress kit includes everything that touches the senses: cooking, gardening, painting, meditation, yoga, walking, listening to music. I love to just sit by the open window in the fresh air, and take a bath with fragrant lavender and a cup of chamomile tea.

I just need time for myself, even if it means just sitting alone in the car for a few minutes, leaning back in my chair and listening to jazz on the radio. If you see me like this, don’t come near me.»

Please themselves

Jeffrey Sumber, psychotherapist, author, and educator, approaches stress philosophically…and with a dash of humor. “When I’m stressed, I like to eat well. It must be healthy food. I meticulously choose products (everything must be the freshest!), carefully cut them, make sauce and enjoy the cooked dish. For me, this process is akin to meditation. And I always take out my smartphone, take a picture of the finished dish and post it on Facebook: (an extremist organization banned in Russia) let my friends envy me.

Draw borders

“The best defense against stress for me is to set boundaries,” says clinical psychologist Ryan Howes. — I try to start and end sessions on time so that there is a gap of ten minutes. During this time, I can write a note, make a call, have a snack … or just catch my breath and collect my thoughts. Ten minutes is not long, but it is enough to recover and prepare for the next session.

Of course, it is not always possible to strictly follow this rule. With some clients, I can stay longer. But I try to stick to the schedule, because in the end it benefits me — and therefore my clients.

At home, I try to disconnect from work: I leave all my papers, a diary, a phone for business calls in the office so that there is no temptation to break the regime.

Follow the rituals

“As a psychologist and mother of six, I deal with stress more than I would like,” admits clinical psychologist and postpartum expert Christina Hibbert. “But over the years, I have learned to recognize its symptoms and deal with them before I panic. I have structured my life so that tension and fatigue do not take me by surprise. Morning exercises, Bible reading, meditation, prayer. Nutritious healthy food, so that energy is enough for a long time. Good sleep (when children allow).

I also make sure to set aside time for rest during the day: lie down for a while, read a couple of pages, or just relax. To relieve tension in my body, I go for a deep massage at least once a week. I also love taking a hot bath on a chilly day.

I don’t treat stress as a problem. Rather, it is an occasion to take a fresh look at your life. If I am too meticulous, I fall into perfectionism, then I reconsider my obligations. If I become irritable and picky, this is a sign that I am taking on too much. This is an alarm signal: take your time, be gentle, look around, feel alive.

Focus on action

What to do if stress paralyzes and prevents you from thinking adequately? Therapist Joyce Marter uses methods from the arsenal of Alcoholics Anonymous: «They have this concept -» the next right thing. When I am overwhelmed with stress, I almost lose control of myself. Then I do something productive, like cleaning up my workspace to make myself feel comfortable. It doesn’t matter what exactly my next action will be. It is important that it helps to switch, to remove focus from experiences. As soon as I come to my senses, I immediately outline a plan: what needs to be done to eliminate the cause of anxiety.

I do spiritual practices: yoga breathing, meditation. This allows you to calm restless thoughts, not dwell on the past and future, and fully surrender to the current moment. To calm my inner critic, I silently recite the mantra, “I am only human. I’m doing everything in my power.» I get rid of all unnecessary things and try to entrust others with what I can not do myself.

I have a support group — close people with whom I share my thoughts and experiences, from whom I ask for help, advice. Reminding myself that stress comes and goes. «This too shall pass». Finally, I try to abstract from my experiences, to study the problem from different angles. If it’s not a matter of life and death, I try not to be too serious: sometimes humor helps to find unexpected solutions.

No one can avoid stress. When it overtakes us, we feel as if we are being attacked from all sides. That is why it is important to be able to competently work with it.

Maybe you can use the methods described above. Or maybe you will be inspired by them and create your own protection against spiritual storms. One way or another, a well-thought-out plan of action is a good “airbag” that will save your psyche when faced with stress.