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Cousins, uncles and tatas, that matters a lot!
“My sister and I live 100 meters from each other, and our children are in the same school. We spend our Wednesday afternoons together, as well as weekend outings and sometimes even some holidays. Children see themselves as brothers and sisters. This is exactly what we were looking for! », Says Lucie, mother of a little girl. For Françoise Peille, psychologist, in fact, in some families, the cousins are very close. ” Their relationship is similar to that of siblings, except that they do not have the same parents in common. It is a big difference for children. Because between brothers and sisters, there can be conflicts. These tensions are essentially linked to their relations with their parents. Between cousins, it’s different. The stakes are not at all the same. They see each other for the pleasure of playing together, ”she explains.
Between cousins, it’s the perfect match!
Cousins will share a lot of things together if their respective parents have bonded with each other when they are younger. Sophie is the mother of a little Adam. For her, relations between cousins are essential. “I grew up in a large family of 5 siblings, and I have a twin sister. My son Adam sees his uncles, aunts and cousins very regularly. It is the youngest. With one of my sisters, who has a little boy, Lenny, we see each other three or four times a month. Adam talks about his cousin all the time. In the evening, at bedtime, my son has got into the habit of naming each member of the family, and he dwells on Lenny for a long time! He talks to me a lot about him, ”explains this mother. The psychologist confirms the benefits of these relations between first cousins. “It is not uncommon for cousins to have better relationships with each other than with a brother or sister. They will play together, test new things, make discoveries, this allows them to grow without being in a relationship of rivalry, which, sometimes, the brothers and sisters are confronted with ”.
Families are good for children, find out why!
In video: Cousins, cousins, uncles, aunts, it’s important for children!
Privileged relations with the tatas and uncle
In large families, toddlers hang out with family members, generally on weekends. Some people really like to see this favorite uncle or auntie again. As Françoise Peille points out: “Uncles and aunts can have a well-defined role with children. Relationships are calmed between them. There are no conflicts, they can experience the good sides of the relationship ”. Sometimes uncles have a special place, depending on the family context, it will all depend on the relationships between parents and their own siblings. ” When he’s with my brother Gerald, my son is completely different. His uncle is a super hero! He is a farmer, he lives on a farm and drives a tractor. It’s a bit of a dream for a 2 year old boy. When we go to uncle’s, there are cows, animals… it’s always a great time. And his uncle is also very happy to see him, he takes the opportunity to play with him, ”explains Sophie, a mother who testifies on our Facebook page. The uncle or aunt would represent a positive identification figure for children. “They are almost daddy / mum” adds Françoise Peille. “When I was little, I had trouble confiding in my father, he had trouble talking about certain things. My uncle, who was also my godfather, was a bit of my confidant for a certain period of time, ”says Lisa, mother of Henriette and Victor.
Evolving extended family relationships
When everything goes well in a family, between the different members, the relationships between children and adults are affected! In general, it is the grandparents who play an important unifying role. They get into the habit of welcoming everyone to their homes by organizing large meals. ” We can say that families are stronger, more selective when they meet regularly. Relationships are made on an emotional basis based on the pleasure of being together. We see each other less by obligation », Indicates the shrink. In the end, for the child, these extended relationships are beneficial both for his personal development and for his social life. For parents who themselves grew up in extended tribe mode, the transmission of family values is essential. We visit each other, the cousins grow up among themselves, and in some cases, we will even participate in meetings called “cousinades”, organized by such or such aunt. A trend more and more followed in times of crisis.