If your child is afraid to take on new things, because “he will not succeed,” these tips will definitely come in handy.
Self-criticism is a good thing. But everything should be in moderation. If a person is inclined to be critical of himself, then his self-esteem should be adequate. Otherwise, you can criticize yourself up to the baseboard, or even below. And a person with normal self-esteem immediately disposes to himself. In addition, such people are usually much more successful and less prone to depression.
It is very difficult to strike a balance between “I am a superhero” and “I will not succeed” for children. And then you can help them.
First you need to understand that if a child has adequate self-esteem, he does not torment himself with the phrases “I am bad!” With normal self-esteem, the baby lives in an atmosphere of love, trust, knows how to put up with his own and others’ mistakes, he feels that he is respected, and he respects other people. He is interested in learning new things, he is open to new knowledge and is not afraid to try what he has not done before. In short, the child loves and accepts himself, and also loves and accepts other people, no matter how strange they may seem at first glance.
So how do you raise your toddler to be confident but not narcissistic? This is what psychologists advise.
1. Don’t do all the work for him.
Of course, it is necessary to help the child. However, you should not deprive him of independence and take all the initiative on yourself. Help your baby set clear goals and plan what to do to achieve those goals. Give your child the opportunity to make mistakes, fail and get over them calmly. In short, encourage him to be independent.
2. Kill the critic within yourself
Point out the child’s mistakes gently, without rudeness or insults, do not force him to correct immediately. Be an authority for him, but not a Cerberus. Show how it is correct, by your example, tell us how you would do in the place of the baby. Harsh criticism is the main obstacle to developing a child’s self-confidence, psychologists say. The often criticized person will subsequently constantly erect barriers between themselves and other people in order to protect themselves from their hurtful words and disrespectful behavior.
3. Praise him even for small accomplishments.
It is known that praise causes a surge of strength in a person, a surge of energy, enhances his desire to win and achieve a result. If a child does not receive praise, and even worse – hears words of disapproval or indifference, he grows up insecure and cannot motivate himself to achieve goals. Praise your child even for small successes, repeat more often: “You are my good”, “Well done!”, “Clever girl!”
By the way, this rule also works with men. The main thing is to praise guys and children sincerely, without the slightest condescension. They sense falsehood unmistakably.
4. Take an interest in his life
Usually, parents simply do not have enough time and energy to calmly play with the baby, ask questions about his health, or just watch a cartoon together. Therefore, the child feels superfluous, unnecessary, rejected. This situation prevents a young creature from growing self-confident and aware of the support of loved ones. Psychologists say that a lack of warm, lively communication can even become an incentive for destructive behavior when a child rushes to all the hard in an attempt to prove that he is also a person, necessary and important. That is why it is so important to show a sincere interest in the affairs of a son or daughter, even if they are trivial, in your opinion.
5. Point out his strengths
Paying attention to your baby’s talents and abilities is essential. Knowing about his strengths, he will communicate more confidently with peers, stand on his feet more firmly, and understand that he is being praised deservedly. The thought “I deserve encouragement, admiration, love” should take root in the subconscious of the child. Remember how you yourself often lacked this feeling as a child. So try to give as much love and attention to your baby as possible!
Filled with love, he will not look for it outside when he grows up, but on the contrary, he will be able to give love to those around him. After all, only by loving and accepting himself, a child can truly love his parents, friends, spouse …
6 “NOT” for smart parents
– Never N. Ye. Take away your favorite toys and things you donated.
– If you did NOT manage to punish him in time, it is better to cancel the punishment.
– DO NOT need to constantly remind the child of his past misconduct. Punished – I’m sorry.
– DO NOT humiliate your child by calling him stupid, worthless, awkward, slow.
– If the child is sick or unwell, DO NOT punish him.
– DO NOT yell at the child if you yourself are irritated, because your condition has nothing to do with him.