“Here, children are not asked to be good.”
“Can you make me a cake for 80 children?” “, I asked a baker. In Israel, you learn to share very early on. For the birthday of our children, we invite all their classmates (in general, they are 40), who often come with their brothers and sisters, or even the neighbors. The Israeli mom always buys double the amount of balloons and plastic plates, and mostly bakes a ton of cakes!
My twins, Palma and Onyx, were born in Paris five weeks in advance. They were very small (less than 2 kg), and one of them was not breathing. Immediately after giving birth, they were transferred to another hospital. It happened so quickly that no one explained anything to me. In Israel, the young mother is very surrounded: midwives, doctors and doulas (women accompanying the mother throughout her pregnancy) are there to listen to her.
In Israel, nurseries are very expensive, sometimes up to € 1 per month.
Each family has its recipes and remedies, there is not ONE operating mode. For example, the Ashkenazim, from Eastern European countries, do not treat their children in the same way as the Sephardim, from North Africa. The first will give a spoonful of strong alcohol with sugar for stomach aches (even to children), the others, a spoonful of olive oil against coughs.
Pediatricians advise us to start dietary diversification with something sweet (like applesauce). Me, I started with vegetables, always organic and seasonal. By the age of one, my daughters were already eating everything, even hummus. The times for meals are not fixed. Often around 10 am, the children eat “aruchat esser” (a snack) and then have lunch at home. For rest times, it’s quite flexible too. Babies take their nap at noon, but from kindergarten onwards, they no longer sleep. It’s replaced by calm weather. Nurseries are never free, private establishments can cost the equivalent of € 1 per month. And we receive little help.
Among the Ashkenazim, when a child has a stomach ache, they are given a spoonful of strong alcohol. Among the Sephardim, a spoonful of olive oil against coughs …
Pacifiers and soft toys barely left, our 4 year olds are trained in what to do in the event of an attack. Some mothers are always on alert, I am more relaxed by nature. A friend of mine, during the last conflicts, only returned where it was easy to hide with a stroller. There, you quickly learn not to panic and to always remain attentive. The biggest fear of Israeli mothers is the army (any mother who says she is happy to send her children to war lies!).
At the same time, children in Israel have a lot of freedom : at the age of 4, they go to school on their own or go to their friends’ homes unaccompanied. Very early on, they have a lot of response to adults. It is often misinterpreted and we find them badly brought up. But we don’t have the same forms of politeness, children don’t have to say “thank you” to everything. My daughters make their life, I let them discover the world. They are sometimes unbearable, but I find them fulfilling and happy! In France, I often hear parents say: “You’re exaggerating, stop right away! The Israelis let it slip more easily. I am sometimes pointed out to my laxity, but it is just that in my country, we do not wonder if the child is wise or not. Nonsense is part of childhood. On the other hand, everyone goes there for their advice. People have an opinion on everything and do not hesitate to give it. I think it’s because there, there is a very strong sense of community, as if we belonged to a very big family.
When my daughters have a fever, I soak their socks in vinegar and put them on their feet. It’s super efficient!