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What is the ideal age difference? Someone claims that no more than five years, psychologists advise not to go beyond seven, and the best friend at the same time is happily married to her classmate. How to get rid of stereotypes and find your happiness regardless of the numbers in your passport?
What is more important: your happiness or public opinion?
Our history of dating is terribly banal — we were brought together by Tinder. On September 5, 2020, I went to the application and saw a message from a young man who is nine years younger than me. The photo was without a face, but for some reason there was no doubt that we needed to meet. The Sixth Sense did not disappoint — we have been together for more than a year, building a house, traveling and raising my children.
Should I trade all the bonuses of harmonious relationships for loneliness and the search for another person just because my neighbors in the porch think our age difference is wrong? The answer is obvious.
Don’t be his mom
I never position myself in a relationship as the main one with a hint of control and advice. My partner is an adult man, he is able to deal with all the problems himself, without my moralizing. On the contrary, I even feel younger than my man. Next to him I can completely relax and forget about all the difficulties. When we are together, I am no longer a businesswoman, not the head of a huge team, but just a girl in love.
Look at the actions and attitude towards you
The fact that a man is your age or older than you does not at all guarantee the level of his upbringing. The desire to care, the ability to work and be responsible, the desire for development and a dozen more important and necessary qualities can easily be combined in a twenty-year-old guy and not resonate with a 45-year-old.
Be Whole Persons
Of course, quarrels and scandals sometimes flare up in every family. And we are no exception in this regard. Especially often roughness in family life arose during the period of grinding to each other. But, as you know, the darlings scold — they only amuse themselves. Whatever the periods of our life together, we always come to a compromise. And the age difference between us has absolutely nothing to do with it. Both my man and I are adults and independent people, so we know what we want from life and from each other, and most importantly, we can negotiate.
Enjoy yourself and each other
We are all different, each has its own upbringing, views on life. But for me it is extremely important when in a relationship there are coincidences in the main interests and values.
For example, we both take care of our bodies. It is of great importance to me that a man does not drink, does not smoke and goes in for sports. If there is no sport in his life, it means that willpower is not developed, there is no respect for his health. The first question I asked when we met was exactly this: “What sport do you do? Do you drink alcohol?
We also love to read books, sometimes we even read fragments aloud to each other. Let’s exchange important thoughts and insights! And of course, a sense of humor! On the first date, we laughed all evening and have been laughing together for a year now.
I wish everyone to have such a common energy in a pair and be at the same time. Just do not confuse this with dissolving in a partner. Each of you is a separate person. But if your interests and views coincide, then no age difference can separate you.