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Bonobo monkeys are distinguished by their peacefulness. At the same time, their habits cannot be called chaste: having sex is as easy for them as it is for us to say hello. But it is not customary for them to be jealous, fight and receive love with the help of force.
These pygmy chimpanzees are famous for never conflicting, and all their problems are solved … with the help of sex. And if bonobos had a motto, most likely it would sound like this — make love, not war .. Maybe people have something to learn from our smaller brothers?
1.
More sex — less fights
Rape, bullying, and even murder — chimpanzees have such manifestations of aggression in the order of things. There is nothing like this in bonobos: as soon as a conflict arises between two individuals, one person will definitely try to extinguish it with the help of affection. “Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence,” says primatologist Frans de Waal. And the neuropsychologist James Prescott, after analyzing the data of many studies, made an interesting conclusion: the less sexual taboos and restrictions in the group, the less conflicts in it. This is true for human communities as well.1.
2.
Feminism is good for everyone
In the bonobo community, there is no patriarchy familiar to most other species: power is divided between males and females. There are alpha females in the team, who stand out for their independent behavior, and it never occurs to anyone to challenge this.
Bonobos do not have a rigid parenting style: children are not scolded, even if they are naughty and try to pull a piece right out of an adult’s mouth. There is a special bond between mothers and sons, and a male’s status in the hierarchy depends on how powerful his mother was.
3.
Unity is strength
Forced sex is very rare in bonobos. Largely due to the fact that females manage to resist harassment from males, gathering in close-knit groups. “If women show solidarity and act on the principle of “one for all and all for one,” male aggression is simply not allowed,” says Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, Harper, 2010).
4.
Good sex doesn’t always require an orgasm.
Most bonobo sexual contact is limited to touching, rubbing the genitals, and quickly penetrating the body of another (it is even called the «bonobo handshake»). At the same time, for them, as for us, romance is very important: they kiss, hold hands (and legs!) And look into each other’s eyes during sex.
Bonobos prefer to celebrate any pleasant event by having sex.
5.
Jealousy is not romantic
To love means to have? Just not for bonobos. Although they know the feeling of fidelity and devotion, they do not seek to control the sexual life of partners. When sex and erotic games accompany almost any communication, it never occurs to anyone to throw a scandal to a partner who decides to flirt with a neighbor.
6.
Free love is not a sign of decline
The bonobos’ habit of having sex in a variety of situations may explain their high level of social development. At the very least, their openness, sociability and low stress level are kept on this. In situations where we are arguing and looking for common ground, bonobos prefer to go into the bushes and have a good somersault. Not the worst option if you think about it.
7.
In life there is always a place for pleasure
Bonobos never miss an opportunity to please themselves and others. When they find some treat, they can immediately celebrate this event — of course, having sex. After that, sitting in a circle, they will enjoy a delicious lunch together. And no fight for the tidbit — this is not a chimpanzee!
1 J. Prescott «Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence», The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, November 1975.