Contents
Getting fit is the goal of millions of people. Why is it so difficult to achieve this and say goodbye to extra folds and kilograms? Maybe the point is that the goal itself is formulated incorrectly. What do we really want and why diet is not the best way to achieve it?
Many of us speak exclusively «diet» language. Mostly with you. It looks like this:
- Why did I eat it?
- There are so many calories in this sandwich, I should have eaten a carrot.
- I will definitely get better now, I should have eaten light bread, not a bun!
- I can’t resist, I can’t get close to carbohydrates, why did I buy bread again.
The brain does not calm down for a minute and constantly mumbles about possible dangers in the image of food — the main enemy. After all, they get better from food, if you don’t limit yourself, it’s scary to think where it will lead. The brain is clearly tuned to a dietary monologue and constantly scrolls through thoughts from a given scenario. This scenario consists mainly of the voices of our inner circle, the media and accepted norms.
- Skinny is good.
- Being overweight is bad.
- An overweight person is a person without willpower and motivation.
Recently, I was sitting in a cafe, drinking coffee, eating a sandwich and enjoying a beautiful morning. Suddenly, she felt a gaze on her. I turn around and see a woman at the next table: “Are you Raya? Nutritionist? I recently joined your group, I really need to lose weight. I see you eat bread, but is it possible? They get better from bread. Although you can.»
The dietary monologue is fueled by the environment, and the intentions of that environment are usually positive. But we suffer from it. Moreover, it does not help us to be slimmer, healthier and happier, but, on the contrary, drives us into a dietary trap. What we can do? I offer five ways to transform a dietary monologue into a conscious choice of food and thinking.
1. Tune in to the radio wave of the body
Our body speaks to us through the senses. They are radar. With their help, we perceive the world, and food is no exception. The problem is that while we «live» in the head and listen only to our thoughts, we do not hear the body and its real needs.
Recently, at a family celebration, I noticed a relative who was sitting on the sidelines and obviously waiting for something. When asked if everything was in order, she sadly said that she had been on a diet for a month and she could “pamper herself” for the weekend. She was waiting for a cake. When I asked if she knew what the cake would be, she looked at me in surprise: “I don’t know, but it’s a cake, and today I can.”
To understand whether we really want this or that dish, we need to stop the «machine» on which we operate and pay attention to these points:
- how it looks;
- do we like its smell;
- Do you like the consistency?
- what does it taste like.
This is called mindful eating. All sense organs are involved in it. When we eat mindfully, we feel both full and satisfied. The chance of overeating in this case is significantly reduced.
2. Add movement
It is not at all news that physical activity is good for us. But we’re not talking about moving to lose weight. Our goal is to stop the running of thoughts and feel our body. I recently realized why I have been pole dancing for four years now. I don’t think there. Apparently, the brain becomes silent, being in shock from acrobatic stunts, and then the body begins to speak.
In other cases, it is very difficult for our body to “break through” through the string of thoughts. It is important to choose the type of movement that will energize the body and unload the flow of thoughts. It doesn’t matter if it’s running or Pilates, dancing or stretching. The main thing is to allow the body to move and speak.
3. Switch the brain from a wave of restrictions and prohibitions to awareness and freedom
One day my daughters were sitting in the bathroom playing with colorful plastic balls. The elder suggested a game — to prevent the balls from rising to the surface. They tried very hard, pushing the balls back into the water, but they stubbornly surfaced. In the end, the girls got tired of this idea, because it is a huge energy cost. It takes a lot of effort and energy. So it is with bans. We can try very hard to control ourselves and «shove» our desires away, and they will stubbornly try to «surface». When they succeed, it will no longer be one candy or waffle, it will be a bag, a tile, a package.
“But if I allow myself, I will eat chocolate with bars, and rice with pots,” the client told me.
— Did you check? Without forbidding, without thinking “I can’t, again I broke, everything was gone.”
— No, I probably didn’t try without such thoughts …
Following the dietary monologue, we are terribly afraid of even the very thought of lifting the ban. Without a ban, we won’t have to fight anymore. A huge amount of energy will be released for new goals, achievements, or just for fun.
4. Allow yourself to have fun
And from food too. Especially from food. “You know,” a client once told me, “I only need to eat bad food. If it tastes good to me, I won’t be able to stop myself…”. That is, we prefer to eat without pleasure, for fear of breaking loose. But our human nature is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. By restraining ourselves, we will only increase the desire for tasty and beloved food. Like bubble baths. You can add fun in the following ways:
- Make a list of those things, actions, activities that give us pleasure, and begin to gradually introduce them into your life. If we add more pleasure to our lives, food will become one of the sources, but not the only one.
- Allow yourself to enjoy food. Create delicious and beautiful meals or dishes for yourself. Check what we like in a particular dish. When I realized that it was important for me that the food crunched and had something to chew, I began to pay more attention to the dishes and foods that I love. Chocolate — only with nuts, only hard fruits, salads — crispy, with seeds.
I realized that I can experience real pleasure from eating. Did I eat more? No, on the contrary. I realized that I can get satisfaction from 3-4 chocolate cubes, and not eat half a bar.
5. Replace self-flagellation with empathy and accept that we are not perfect.
How we want to always control our desires in food. The expression «everything is possible» is fine, but not in the context of body and weight. Our weight depends not only on our desire, but on many factors that, unfortunately, are not in our hands:
- hormonal changes;
- dietary background;
- age;
- genetics;
- and other factors.
Changing habits, creating new beliefs, learning to accept your emotions are new skills. Let’s remember how we praise our children for every squiggle in the picture, the cube on the tower, for every step forward, and now let’s try to do the same for ourselves.
It is important to learn to be softer with yourself, to replace the strict teacher’s voice in your head with a softer, more loving and accepting one. And then the motivation for change will increase significantly. Diets don’t work. And it’s not that we didn’t find the right one, but that they don’t fit almost anyone.
Limitations drive us into a whirlpool of desires, falls, self-flagellation, and so on and on. If not diets, then what? We need to change destination. Since 97% of those who lose weight cannot achieve or maintain their desired weight, then the problem is not with us, but with the destination itself.
It is important to identify what is really important to us. Health? To be an example for your children? Live life to the fullest and have fun? Smiling at the reflection in the mirror? Something that will light a fire in the eyes and make you want to shout, “Yes, I want it,” that will be the destination we need. The main thing is that it matches the needs and capabilities of the body.
About the author: Raya Weinstein-Gordon is a dietitian nutritionist specializing in nutritional psychology.