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We often forget about it, finding a variety of reasons. Meanwhile, self-care is extremely important for normal functioning, because it helps us successfully cope with everyday difficulties. Family Therapist Leslie Santana talks about how to tell if you’re taking good care of yourself.
In psychotherapy, it is important to immediately assess how the client is doing with self-care — it is in this area that the key to recovery usually lies. Unfortunately, it is often completely misunderstood, equated with selfishness and self-indulgence.
What do psychotherapists mean by advising you to take care of yourself? Why is care so important? When is it most effective?
Let’s deal.
1. Distinguish self-healing from self-indulgence
Self-healing is productive, self-indulgence is exactly the opposite. It is much more beneficial to take 10 minutes a day to analyze what provoked your anger and aggression during the day than to spend an hour in a nail salon.
Of course, you should not give up small pleasures and torment yourself with guilt for them. But self-care should always focus on improving mental and physical health.
By understanding what makes you feel negative, you will learn more about yourself, and this knowledge will be useful to you in future stressful situations.
And if you are already going to a manicure or a hairdresser, then here’s a little advice for you: such procedures are a great opportunity to practice deep conscious breathing.
2. Distinguish pseudo-care from real care
Pseudo-care seems similar to real care, but it is still worth distinguishing between them.
A prime example is shopping. Suppose that after two weeks of depression, you decide to please yourself with new purchases. It is highly likely that you will enjoy this process and your mood will improve for a while. The problem is that often we completely replace real care with such surrogates. Pseudo-concern can only bring temporary relief, because it does not address the true causes of our low mood or other symptoms that bother us.
Instead, try keeping a diary of your own internal dialogue.
3. Learn to deal with difficulties
This skill is often spoken of rather vaguely, but meanwhile it is important to understand what exactly it includes. Self-care is a reflection of your relationship with yourself, and coping with adversity strengthens that relationship.
If you do not tolerate difficulties well, most likely, your relationship with yourself is poorly developed. As you strengthen these relationships, don’t forget that it’s important to learn how to deal with difficulties in healthy, proper ways.
4. Remember the connection of mind, body and soul
As we have said, self-care is always aimed at promoting mental health and well-being.
As you plan to take care of yourself, evaluate how you are functioning psychologically, physically, and spiritually. To work on yourself to give long-term results, make a habit of regularly assessing the situation. Focus on problem areas first.
This does not necessarily require you to spend a lot of time or money. At the same time, care is extremely important for maintaining health. If you don’t know where to start, try experimenting with different types of meditation, make a list of goals, learn to express gratitude, start journaling, try deep breathing and muscle relaxation exercises. The main thing is to finally take the first step towards yourself!
Source: PsychoCentral.